“You chose to lay down with a man… you chose to open your legs… killing this baby won’t solve your problems…”
“Honey, your relationship will never be the same. Your life will never be the same. You’ll always regret this.”
“You’ll always be a mother. You’ll just be the mother of a dead baby.”
“Be a man!! Bring her out of there! Don’t let her kill your baby!”
Shame. Antis are all about shaming the people who come to the clinic. In fact, they enjoy it so much that when there aren’t any clients walking up the sidewalk, they look for new outlets.
Yesterday, Donna, standing under her big umbrella, and Nurse Betty, under a more modest one, were whispering and pointing at me ever-so-obviously. Then, “You need to get a bigger raincoat!” they informed me. They had to say it again before I got it – they were calling me fat!
Fortunately, I am no longer actually in middle school, so it only stung for a second before I was amused.
They said it a couple more times, but I guess I didn’t give them the reaction they wanted, because later, Nurse Betty commented, just loudly enough for me to hear “And she counsels people? She doesn’t even take care of herself.”
I just shook my head. It was easy enough to shrug off their pettiness.
When I shared the story with some other escorts, I got some great responses. One of them said:
I always think in my mind, “I may be fat, but you’re ugly. I can always lose weight, but there’s no hope for you!” Then, I smile.
That ugliness can be inner or outer. They were just mean ugly to you.
Another escort commented:
Another example of good christian behavior.
While someone suggested:
Bring a bunch of doughnuts and chew them with your mouth open as you stare at them.
I loved the suggestion that I refer them to the Bible – Matthew Chapter 23, verse 27. Of course, I had to google it. It says:
27 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity
And then someone said this:
I’ll just bet she was a nasty little tattletale whinger on the playground, too, at St. Mary’s Keep Your Legs Crossed School Of The Blessed Insults.
which cracked me up.
All the affirmation and support is fun and feels good, but it’s not why I started talking about this. I was trying to figure out if I could do a blogpost about it without sounding like I was just looking for sympathy or support. Because really ~~
Nurse Betty and Donna sniping at me is not the problem. It’s actually helpful, because it shines a light on who they are. They’re mean people.
Donna and Nurse Betty are not calling me out on being fat because I’m fat. They’re calling me out on being fat because they’re mean. That’s just who they are. They want me to feel bad. They want me to feel ashamed of my body and of myself.
And Donna and Nurse Betty aren’t on the sidewalk “counseling” women because they care about women or babies. They’re on the sidewalk because they’re mean. The abortion clinic is their best opportunity for socially sanctioned bullying. They want people to feel ashamed.
I want you to recognize them for the bullies that they are. That’s why I’m writing this post. So if you’re ever on the sidewalk – whether you’re a client, a companion, or an escort – you can see through their facade. You can see their petty meanness.
I was able to shrug them off. I’d love for everyone to be able to do that too.