I went out to the EMW Women’s Clinic this morning to help escort. It’s not my first time on the sidewalk, but it has been a while — about 8 or 9 years.

Here are a few observations that I made this morning:

It didn’t seem as chaotic to me as it used to. Maybe it’s because I have prior experience, or maybe it’s the training I attended before returning to the line. Maybe it was a strong and organized showing of escorts today. At any rate, this time I had a much better idea of our goals and knew what I needed to do. So I picked a spot at the property line in front of the door and held that space.

Second, I never used headphones before but I found that they are great for staying entertained and for blocking out anti-chatter and rosary repetitions. Also hearing the soapbox preachers set to a dance beat can be fun at times.

I didn’t feel as stressed out on the sidewalk today as I have while escorting in the past. I think a large part of that is that I am now more secure in my convictions. Since the last time I escorted I have been pregnant twice — the first time ending in miscarriage (discovered at the 8 week ultrasound) and medical termination at home. Though that sad experience I discovered first-hand the vital importance of support and empowerment and a good doctor who informed me of all my options and encouraged me to choose the one that was best for me. Happily my second pregnancy resulted in a beautiful, wanted, and loved little girl. In spite of the very different outcomes of these two pregnancies I felt the same vital importance in both cases of empowerment and support though-out pregnancy and birth and new parenthood.

So some things on the sidewalk have never changed, but stand out to me much more starkly now. On the sidewalk you see the sharp difference between those who lecture and shame and assume and try to control, and those who support and make space and empower. I know what side I will be on.