Ranting and Raving on Abortion Provider Appreciation Day

Alternate title: Two Facebook Rants that Deserve to be Seen.

But first, for the raving part….

WE ARE SO VERY GRATEFUL TO THE BRAVE PEOPLE WHO PROVIDE ABORTIONS TO THOSE WHO NEED AND WANT THEM!! Unfortunately there are fewer and fewer providers, as abortion access continues to be under attack from anti abortion demonstrators, extremists, and legislators. This is why it is SO important that we show our appreciation to the kind and brilliant doctors, staff, and volunteers who work in the face of perpetual hurdles. The services performed by these heroes literally save people’s lives, and can preserve a quality of life for those who aren’t able to stay pregnant, or become parents (again, right now, or at all). I am not going to take this space to spout about the attacks taking place in our state, and our region right now, ranging from vandalism to lawsuits and more new laws to make it harder to both operate a clinic, and to access an affordable procedure without having to travel long distances. Most of our readers are aware of these matters, and can follow the links to the stories about dwindling access. So, for now I’ll repeat a loud and proud THANK YOU to all of the folks working to provide abortion care. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. WE NEED YOU. PLEASE DON’T STOP.

And now…. For the ranting.

Below you will find separate contributions from two different women. We are friends, but did not collaborate on or draw inspiration from each other’s rants in any way. They both center around privilege (our own, and that of those around us), and are appropriate in these times when there is an unprecedented level of tension, both in this country as we head towards a heated presidential election, and in Kentucky as we feel the impact of our new Governor Matt Bevin, who is doing his damndest to punish and oppress people for being poor, queer, trans, non-white, or any person who wants to practice a variety of religions, or (GASP!) have sex for some reason other than procreation.

The first section is taken from a comment thread on a Facebook post that mentioned voting, and linked this NYT article titled Abortion Witch Hunt. It culminates in a rant. I (the author behind “wench” on esm) made the original post, did the ranting, and have omitted the name of my FB friend.

The second section is a touching poem by a woman I have known for a very long time, and have a ton of respect for. We will call her D. D posted her poem on Facebook and I asked permission to share it here, as I thought it fit nicely. Please enjoy and share!

……………….

Him: Are you guys fighting for Bernie? Because if not $hillary is likely to get smoked in the general election. How’ya like for Trumperific years, or maybe the Cruzinator? BERNIE OR BUST! Times drawing near.

Me: I am voting for Bernie, but I think Hillary will win the nomination. I can’t really get down with what feels like a coercive threat: Vote for Bernie or be punished. I’m also not gonna fight with other Dems / feminists about what might be happening in 2017 when Bevin is actively trampling on the rights of so many KYians today.

Him:  Never mind, I’m not contributing to the abortion witch hunt, sorry to inject something as unimportant as the Presidential election, Furthermore, I won’t say a word about the ridiculousness of anyone considering $hillary a feminist. Lastly, it was no threat, but many Bernie supporters, myself included will never vote for the criminal racket that HRC, the DNC and their mega-money overseers comprise. Bernie beats trump by 8% in the polls right now, $hillary beats him by 4% and while Bernie beats all the other GOP candidates handily $hillary loses to them all. Have a nice day!

Me:  I wasn’t referring to HRC as a feminist. I was referring to her supporters. I truly hope Bernie wins the nomination. If he doesn’t, I’ll do what I’ve done every election since my first when I voted Nader in 2000 and lived through 8 more Bush years. I’ll vote for Not Trump.

I know there are Berners who won’t vote HRC. You may not call it a threat or punishment, but there is a palpable difference between intent and impact there. That’s no way to teach any lessons. That’s your privilege showing.

H: My privilege? I’m listening

M: yes. I’m not sure if you want me to elaborate on the privileges that you enjoy in this culture (the fact that you are seen as an able bodied, strong, heterosexual, white, cisgender man, and all the leeway you get with that… the fact that you and your family members have had access to education throughout your lives….. your ability to gain employment and maintain job security at not one but two well established and highly regarded institutions)…… Or if you’re wanting me to elaborate on the privileges inherent to the concept that by refusing to support a democratic presidential candidate, just because it’s not *your* preferred person, as a way of punishing those of us who you don’t think are fighting hard enough for your preferred candidate, you are teaching us some kind of lesson by making us suffer through Trump (or any republican contender) because you couldn’t bring yourself to vote for the lesser of two evils.

These hardcore Berners you’re aligning yourself with aren’t the people whose loved ones will be deported (or murdered or waterboarded) in the name of immigration reform or anti terrorism efforts. y’all won’t be the ones losing your homes in real estate collapses, then housing project demolitions and section 8 cuts. Your kids won’t be the ones whose class sizes swell well above 35 children per one tired, underpaid adult in schools with no arts programs. Or whose teenagers get charged as adults and shuttled through the school to prison pipeline because they’re seen as troubled at-risk thugs who are a threat to society. The absence of these disadvantages and countless more are some of reasons why the approach of punishing dems for not nominating Bernie is a very privileged one.

That covered some of the class and race privilege in this approach. To make it more personal for myself, as a person who enjoys some privileges as a (somewhat) educated white cis-woman: what might happen to health care? to marriage equality? and i’m not just talking about abortion access… i’m talking about being able to keep my home (or car, or phone) if I have to spend time in the ER or ICU for some reason, or end up needing long term treatment for an ailment. if I could afford, for example inpatient cancer treatment, or hospice care, would a partner who can’t be a legal spouse have rights regarding my care or benefits? going Trump is going backwards, just like we are seeing with Bevin now.

but since it came up, and since the original post was about abortion access, and now we are talking about male privilege… I can’t tell if you mentioned not being in on the abortion witch hunt meaning you’re not taking part in the hunt, or it that doesn’t concern you, but those sentiments both fall under: Your Male Privilege Showing.
Here is just one way men will be affected if Bevin stays his course in eliminating *LEGAL* abortion in KY (note that abortions will happen even if illegal, so here is a freebee example where a mother of 3 leaves behind dad and kids by trying to self abort and hemorrhaging to death) so currently a couple living in Louisville or Lexington can decide to terminate a pregnancy and do so after making a phone call and waiting 24 hours, IF they have $750+ laying around. Bevin has already made it to where two trips to the clinic will be required in addition to the original phone call (this will go into effect this summer). so now imagine if the charge Bevin has filed closes that clinic in Lexington. a couple who lives in a suburb east of Lexington now will have to make two trips to Louisville for the procedure. this will mean two adults taking two days off work, possibly having to pay for childcare both days, plus gas expenses (if there is a vehicle) and possibly a hotel, or more gas…… or stay with friends but that might be uncomfortable, and again is a privilege of knowing people with a big enough home in the city.

so you see, there is a LOT of privilege in thinking it’s ok to choose the option of teaching the milquetoast feminists a lesson by punishing us with trump because y’all can’t bear to support a candidate that’s not *your* candidate.

(end rant. These comments took place over the course of two+ days. There have only been crickets post rant.)

……………………………………..

A rant. By D

My whiteness is a cloak. It is a invisible cloak that protects me from the bigots and fascists. It blocks me knowing. It makes me a party to racism whenever I stay quiet.

I wear it without realizing how much it protects me. I want to rip it off layer by layer so I can become more emboldened to not lie and lay
silent when by its lack of color one believes I am a comrade for hate.

Out of what I was taught to do cloaked and white. I smile and nod confining and defining the very bigotry I claim to hate and oppose. Sweetness is not the antithesis to racism. Racists can be sweet as hell saying “would you like a big ol glass a sweet tea?”

Layer by layer I will take off the cloak and I need to do it with care. Underneath there are the others layers I use the cloak to protect. My lower class background, divorced, in poverty working class self, my queerness, my child’s disability, my families mental illness and suicide history.

None of those things. None of those things. Did I say that? None of those things are as powerful to define me as the privilege of the cloak of this white skin.

For that is my truth.

Because of it I must listen to the ones uncloaked fearless or in fear and learn.

Because of my cloak I must learn to speak to ones who wear it too.

To call them out and ask them to tear my cloak off too.

I will falter and it will hurt but it will never be the pain of those I seek to understand.

It will never be the pain I cannot comprehend.

Growing pains can be hard but I’m taking the step in faith for a world where we all come to a table and our skin is removed.

Blood spills and is mixed. The river of us all renewed.

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About wench

Wench is based in Louisville KY. We work collectively to learn and feel empowered to find and use tools to take better care of ourselves and our communities through a holistic understanding of health in many forms

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