Antis Say the Darndest Things~ by fml

Most of you already know that protesters on the sidewalk outside an abortion clinic say the same things over and over. And over. You probably already know that to call their words “counseling” stretches the imagination beyond breaking point.

If you follow this blog, you may remember Escort Bingo – if not, you can refresh your memory here. You may even have a personal favorite in the repetitive lines that the protesters use. I have a bunch of favorites, but here are a few:

“Just take 5 minutes to get a free ultrasound. What’s the harm in that?”

“We only want to help.”

“God is watching you.”

“Why don’t you go to a real doctor?”

“They don’t care about you. They only care about your money.”

“Come next door where we care about you.”

So the other day, a couple of escorts started a little game. One of them pledged a quarter for every time Anti XYZ says a particular line. Another escort pledged a dime for every time Anti ABC says one of their favorite lines. Then – who knows where these ideas come from?- some escort says, “We should make this a fundraiser!”

So now it is. It’s our pre-Easter, just-for-fun, antis-say-the-darndest-things fundraiser. We’re not expecting to make a lot of money – the Bowl-a-Thon is coming soon, and then we’ll be working on Pledge-a-Picketer. We’re not trying to wear anyone out with excessive fundraising. This is just for fun.

We want the antis to know we are doing this fundraiser, but we don’t want them to know which antis and which phrases we are tracking. If they don’t know, the only way they can keep us from raising funds is they all have to stop saying anything. It’s a total win-win scenario for us.

We already have escorts lined up to track the things they say. If you want to play – to pledge a certain amount for every time XYZ says that thing they say, or ABC says their rudest admonition, email us for details. You can find us at

We’ll let you know the tally and winning phrase after Easter.

3 thoughts on “Antis Say the Darndest Things~ by fml

  1. And that’s why I shared it. We had people who weren’t volunteers but who were pro-choice pledge, as well as volunteers. We also mocked those antis who didn’t get a sponsor. The whole thing must have tasted like vinegar to them.

  2. We did something similar at the clinic here in Huntsville, Alabama–“Adopt an Anti.” People pledged a sum for such things as::
    Each time a particular anti showed up.
    One of the drama llamas burst into crocodile tears.
    Every set of baby clothes waved around.
    Any religious picture.
    Each bullhorn brought.

    We got a whiteboard and posted the pledge amounts, tallied it all up and thanked them when they finally slunk off at the end of the day–or when the weather got bad. Seeing the consequences of their actions seemed to dampen their enthusiasm.

    I pledged $50 bucks if any of the antis got arrested for trespassing, and $100 if one particular person shows up, because we have a Federal warrant out for his arrest. (I’m still waiting on his sorry ass to show. The arrest will be videoed and posted after he is convicted.)

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