You’re ugly.

“You’re ugly” I hear this whispered to me as I guide clients through the protesters.
What? That’s weird, is all I think then I go on back to where I was standing.
She walks up to me and a little bit louder this time she says, “you’re ugly.” Well that is a strange thing to say but all right. I don’t say anything.
You see, I’m not out here to be pretty, or cute. I’m out here to guide clients into the clinic, to help terrified people not feel so alone, I’m here to normalize abortion.
“Who is that on your necklace ?” Repeated several times , “well whoever she is, she’s pretty ugly. Are you related? I feel sorry for you but I can tell.”
Well, the woman on my necklace is Frida Kahlo, who funnily enough revolted against modern ideas of beauty by donning a rebozo ( a traditional Mexican article of clothing), and incorporating her facial hair ( oh my so unbecoming!) in her self portraits.
All of the clients are inside. The escorts are gathered together to just have a final chat about the morning….
“There’s a rip in your dress…”she leans in” your dress is ripping. You know, there’s a way to fix that and it isn’t a needle and thread….it isn’t a needle and thread!”
I’m fat. Good job. You have eyes. Also, good eye for spotting the quarter inch hole along the side seam of my skirt. Well, let me start off by saying I bought the skirt because it was 75% off because it had a hole in it combine that with laziness and general nonchalance over small things like that and you have….something that doesn’t really matter.
The whole situation was just so banal and rude.
I am ugly to her and I’m sure quite a few others on this planet populated by 7.2 billion people, that’s quite all right. What isn’t all right is bullying.
Telling men they aren’t “real men unless you drag her out of there right now”. Telling women they’re selfish and they don’t know how to handle their own bodies.
Bullying is ugly.

9 thoughts on “You’re ugly.

  1. Better a fat body than a fat head, I always say. Musta been a slow day on the sidewalk or she was bored stiff with her material.

    I can’t be insulted by pro-liars. There is nothing uglier than a pro-liar. So one calling me ugly or fat or whatever literally has no effect. I can’t even get angry about it because of the source.

    And totally off topic, but SQUEE! So happy to find another Frida Kahlo fan. ❤

  2. And this wasn’t even the same mean girls who wanted to make sure I knew they thought I was fat! Sheesh. I hate that this happened to you, and I can sure sympathize with how it feels. I guess that puts us in the same boat – and if I have to be in this boat, at least I’m in good company with you.

    (And anyone who knows you, knows that you’re adorable.)

  3. So intent on saving “babies” that these people notice a small hole in a skirt and body size? That says it all.
    Shaming people for body size while expecting them to accept permanent body changes that come with pregnancy is kind of dumb.
    I have had the pleasure of spending the summer in a beach community where everybody walks around in bathing suits at the beach and I couldn’t tell you a single thing about any other person’s body.
    Much like abortion, they need to mind their own business about body size and clothing.

  4. I have no idea what you look like. But I am pretty confident in one thing. Your cool. And smart. And compassionate. All pretty beautiful things. Rock on, Sister.

  5. I got some fat-shaming from an anti when I was videoed for her blog: http://www.donotlink.com/bcxv “I wouldn’t recommend that you strive for the huge size as that may have undesirable health consequences!” Antis, wrong on women’s health care, wrong on body size health care! My abortion activism is very important to me, but so is my anti-obesity stigma activism. So yeah, a twofer!

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