Shame on the Sidewalk

“You chose to lay down with a man… you chose to open your legs… killing this baby won’t solve your problems…”

“Honey, your relationship will never be the same.  Your life will never be the same.  You’ll always regret this.”

“You’ll always be a mother.  You’ll just be the mother of a dead baby.”

“Be a man!!  Bring her out of there!  Don’t let her kill your baby!”

Shame.  Antis are all about shaming the people who come to the clinic.  In fact, they enjoy it so much that when there aren’t any clients walking up the sidewalk, they look for new outlets.

Yesterday, Donna, standing under her big umbrella, and Nurse Betty, under a more modest one, were whispering and pointing at me ever-so-obviously. Then, “You need to get a bigger raincoat!” they informed me. They had to say it again before I got it – they were calling me fat!

Fortunately, I am no longer actually in middle school, so it only stung for a second before I was amused.

They said it a couple more times, but I guess I didn’t give them the reaction they wanted, because later, Nurse Betty commented, just loudly enough for me to hear “And she counsels people? She doesn’t even take care of herself.”

I just shook my head.  It was easy enough to shrug off their pettiness.

When I shared the story  with some other escorts, I got some great responses.   One of them said:

I always think in my mind, “I may be fat, but you’re ugly. I can always lose weight, but there’s no hope for you!” Then, I smile.

That ugliness can be inner or outer. They were just mean ugly to you.

Another escort commented:

Another example of good christian behavior.

While someone suggested:

Bring a bunch of doughnuts and chew them with your mouth open as you stare at them.

I loved the suggestion that I refer them to the Bible – Matthew Chapter 23, verse 27. Of course, I had to google it. It says:

27 “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity


And then someone said this:

I’ll just bet she was a nasty little tattletale whinger on the playground, too, at St. Mary’s Keep Your Legs Crossed School Of The Blessed Insults.

which cracked me up.

All the affirmation and support is fun and feels good, but it’s not why I started talking about this. I was trying to figure out if I could do a blogpost about it without sounding like I was just looking for sympathy or support. Because really ~~

Nurse Betty and Donna sniping at me is not the problem. It’s actually helpful, because it shines a light on who they are.  They’re mean people.

Donna and Nurse Betty are not calling me out on being fat because I’m fat.  They’re calling me out on being fat because they’re mean.  That’s just who they are.  They want me to feel bad.  They want me to feel ashamed of my body and of myself.

And Donna and Nurse Betty aren’t on the sidewalk “counseling” women because they care about women or babies.  They’re on the sidewalk because they’re mean.   The abortion clinic is their best opportunity for socially sanctioned bullying.   They want people to feel ashamed.

I want you to recognize them for the bullies that they are.  That’s why I’m writing this post.   So if you’re ever on the sidewalk – whether you’re a client, a companion, or an escort – you can see through their facade.  You can see their petty meanness.

I was able to shrug them off.  I’d love for everyone to be able to do that too.


18 thoughts on “Shame on the Sidewalk

  1. Been an escort for over twenty years. Sometimes I ignore them, which totally enrages a few, other times I talk back to them. Either way, the patients come first and I will defend and protect their right to be there, unaccosted, in whatever way works best for the given situation. I don’t believe the protesters have a right to be comfortable doing what they do.

    • Well, I agree for sure. Well said, and thanks for commenting. (And thanks for escorting for over twenty years – yikes, that’s a long time to do this!!)

  2. Yup. Mean girls grow up to be mean women. Bullies suck. I recently learned that bullying can carry on well through adult hood. I like quoting back Biblical passages to them. Cherry pick the best ones for hypocrites!

    • I like the idea of using the Bible to refute their points too – except I don’t actually speak to them. I guess that’s why I do it here… 🙂 Thanks for commenting!

  3. We try to ignore them, in the hopes that they will tire of not getting a reaction and go away. Sadly, they are too mean (synonyms: small-minded, ignoble) for that.

    • You might want to consider laughing at them for their insanity in thinking they are relevant to anything we are doing for the women we escort. I escort in Little Rock every week and laugh at them each weekend. The antis here hate being laughed at, more than they hate being ignored. Besides it’s fun to distress them.

      • Ok, so i agree, there’s an element of fun in distressing the antis. But I try not to do it on the sidewalk because you know, it’s not really helpful. Part of the reason I started blogging was so I could say the things I was thinking and wouldn’t say there! Thanks for your comment.

    • Yep, I try to ignore them too. I don’t always succeed, but I give it my best shot. Thanks for commenting – and I appreciate the synonyms for mean. Good point.

  4. They are the absolute worst! We had a group rile up a bystander into going into the buliding to bother a patient who was waiting for a ride, because their cowardly asses wouldn’t dare. And when we stopped them, and he got upset, they just stood there with their little smug smiles.

    Grown up bullies is exactly what they are.

    • Yeah, I think it’s frightening when they rile up other people to take action that they’re not going to do. They do that with some of the (apparently) homeless people here. It’s dangerous. And cowardly, for sure.

      Thanks so much for commenting.

    • Yes, apparently mean girls grow up and never go away. It totally had that middle school feel, the way they were acting when they did it. Sigh. Fortunately, I actually grew up. Thanks for commenting!

  5. They could be eaten by bears if they aren’t careful. Perhaps you could remind them of this story from the Old Testament about their loving and forgiving god:

    2 Kings 2:23-25 English Standard Version (ESV)

    23 He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” 24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys. 25 From there he went on to Mount Carmel, and from there he returned to Samaria.

    • That’s funny! And yep, an excellent cautionary tale! Although, I don’t think they’ll see me in the same light as a prophet, even an Old Testament one. Sigh… Thanks for sharing that!!

    • The idea of escorts walking bears on leashes up and down the sidewalk just makes me giggle uncontrollably. I’ll bet they would be nicer then!

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