Censorship, Privacy and Why Antis Need to Just Shut Up~by KY Born

There are undoubtedly times in all of our lives where we have just been so wrong, after talking long and loud about a position, where the only thing we can do upon realizing the error of our ways is to stop talking. I have been in this position more than once and am always embarrassed once I realize I have basically made a huge horse’s behind of myself. Perhaps the only thing more humiliating than realizing that it was time to shut up would be everyone else realizing that it was time for me to shut up, but myself being too blind or stupid to notice it myself. Ever.

Due to travel delays and bad weather, I have had ample time to surf the internet. Sure enough, reading about antis never fails to provide a mixture of amusement and rage. Of course, Google was abuzz with wounded antis last week because Google chose to remove ads from CPCs that lie about services they provide. As an aside, I noticed many antis lying that Google was taking away all their ads, cries of censorship, freedom of speech being yanked and Nazis abounded along with discussions over whether or not Jesus would continue to Google or if he would switch to Bing. Instead of being embarrassed that these Christian Centers have lied so much a search engine is having to take action, they just continue to rattle on about the injustice of it all. Antis, it is time to shut-up.

I get particularly upset at these CPCs because I know for a fact they do lie, having sat in the lobby while a friend who fled an abusive relationship that very morning swallowed her pride and went to ask them for help with supplies for her infant. She worked very hard, but when her spouse mostly emptied one account and she had to come up with deposits for shelter and utilities, there was not much left over. In fact, I think there was about $2 left. She was referred to the CPC by her small church who helped to fund them. She left her old vehicle with its half tank of gas and everything she now owned back at her new apartment and off we went in my car across town to the CPC who told her that of course, they could help. They just needed her to come in to confirm some details and fill out some paperwork. Here is what she got:

  1. Told her friend (me) was not allowed to go back with her through the screening process for the sake of “privacy” even though she told them she wanted me there
  2. A recommendation that she return home to her abusive spouse.
  3. Admonishments to repent of her “sin”. She isn’t sure what sin they were referring to but at this point she didn’t want to encourage further chatter.
  4. Pressure to take a “free pregnancy test” even though she had no reason to suspect she was pregnant. I’m not sure where they got this idea but she had explained to them both over the phone and in person that she was seeking help for her infant and was not worried about pregnancy.

They didn’t offer a dang thing, not so much as a pack of diapers. Some of her pro-choice friends went out and bought her baby supplies and furniture to get her through. We were happy to do this and she would have greatly appreciated the CPC just saying over the phone that they couldn’t help her right now.

Looking back, I suppose the “counselor” was too busy going down her check list and declaring my non-pregnant friend abortion vulnerable that she didn’t have time to listen. I don’t know what this particular CPC did as it was over 60 miles away from the nearest abortion clinic, aside from trying to lure women in for their “free” pregnancy test and lecture. I do know they harassed my friend for two weeks on her cell number and work number to come in for the pregnancy test that she didn’t need or want. Despite their claim to “love them both,” they spent more time loving her imaginary embryo and not caring a bit about a real live woman and a real live born infant. This is another reason it is time for antis to just shut up.

Later in the week I made the mistake of clicking through a well-known anti site that claimed to have an article about women being freed from sex addiction (I’m paraphrasing here). The article itself was fairly routine and spouted the usual far-right approaches to any undesirable behavior. Whatever, it’s their site.

Where things just got utterly disgusting were the comments where one of them somehow jacked the conversation to be about Ariel Castro and the three victims who were kidnapped and held for 10 years. She claims to have some sort of connection by marriage to somebody who somehow knows one of the three victims. She then proceeds to post this supposedly insider information about all three of these women, even though they seem to have kept a fairly low profile since they were freed. This poster may just be a nutty liar or she may be an asshole who is violating a victim’s privacy to get attention. Most pro-choicers recognize that antis don’t understand the concept of privacy. Now if these women want to share this information, that is up to them. They deserve all the support possible. What they don’t deserve is some random internet person pimping out their story for attention. Gross.

This story, of course, has nothing to do with sex addiction and it also has nothing to do with abortion. Pro-choicers are very much against any sort of forced reproduction or termination. Pro-choicers can clearly see a difference between a safe, legal procedure performed with the consent of the patient and women imprisoned, raped, forced to birth a child or forced to miscarry due to physical abuse. Antis can’t seem to grasp the difference between these two and aren’t interested in learning. This is why antis need to shut up.

The last thing I noticed about antis this week is their need to turn Floyd Mayweather into a hero. Really?  Anti-choicers are rallying around a man convicted of domestic violence several times over and arrested more times than that, with several different women involved. I keep wondering why there seems to be no legal penalty for stealing this woman’s medical records, if they are in fact hers. I don’t even know if this woman was actually pregnant, because it is none of my business. The shame and outrage shouldn’t be about whether or not a woman had an abortion, it should be about the fact that her PRIVATE medical records were taken against her will and published online by an ex-fiance who can’t seem to get over her. Even if they were “his babies,” those were her medical records and none of his business. Celebrating the abusive actions of a known abuser is not exactly showing how much you care about real, existing women.

So please antis, take a hint, and just shut up.

9 thoughts on “Censorship, Privacy and Why Antis Need to Just Shut Up~by KY Born

  1. The problems with CPCs are something we can agree on then. I’m glad you know of some that are different, although I would encourage you to have a young woman friend go and give you a report.
    I don’t personally understand why antis will not support basic legislation to hold these places to a common starndard:
    1. Honesty in advertising and services provided
    2. No staff being paid to protest or lure women off the sidewalk
    3. Full disclosure about the qualifications of the person person operating the ultrasound.
    4. Meet the same qualifications as any similar facility in their state
    5. Must meet HIIPA standards-no selling or sharing information
    6. Must, at sign in and preferably before tell women there for “confirmation of pregnancy” for medicaid can opt out of the fetus porn and religous indoctrination
    7. Legal penalties for false pregnancy test results and false\unqualified ultrasound results
    And it can’t be legislated, but they could all change their misleading names.
    Until then, I’m afraid I will continue to view them with skepticism. However, I would love if you work from within the anti movement to change this most pro-access and pro-choice people would be th rilled.

  2. saludos!

    i am SO glad to see that this blog is active again, as i always enjoyed it so much!

    i dunno if you remember me, but i am an anti.

    i am right on the same page with you about deceptive CPC’s.

    people need lasting solutions, not trickery into fulfilling someone else’s ideas of what skydaddy wants.

    i am also a religious nut, and i firmly believe that my imaginary friend frowns on that shit, especially when it is done in his name.

    i think it is terrible that the CPC refused to help someone in such dire straits, but only wanted to fulfill a fetus fetish.

    SHAME!

    no matter what, anyone facing an unwanted pregnancy, or a wanted pregnancy that has gone wrong merits compassion.

    it is apparent that some CPC’s ( not all, as i know of two that are very different) are unable to grasp that concept.

    again, i am really glad to see you back again, and i will have to start looking for your entries regularly.

    please be safe out there.

  3. I didn’t take as you saying anything negative Lisajane. Anti hypocrisy is one of my big issues with them. I was only admitting to my own inability to have a civil discussion with people who continue to insist abortion is murder.

  4. There is so much I loved about what you have written here. The clear examples of antichoicers crossing any line of simple human decency are beautifully painted. I often wonder about the phenomenon of behavior we escorts see as blatantly obnoxious and/or illegal, and how that same behavior is viewed as valiant, noble and worthy of the Jesus Solid Gold Martyr award. One would hope that with time, people would eventually learn to see and understand each other’s viewpoint, that people could learn to civilly agree to disagree, that some rational and workable solution could be arrived at. Yet it is many decades since women won the constitutional right to control their own decisions about their bodies, their sexuality, and their fertility. As we are well aware, the antichoicers have been hacking away at this constitutional right ever since. It certainly is discouraging to see the prochoice people working to disengage, reduce conflict, and treat people with respect – – while at the same time to see the antichoice people doing the exact opposite.

    Thank you for writing this and sharing it here with everyone.

    • Hello Lisajane,
      If this reply gets published twice I apologize. I think I accidentally deleted my first reply. I agree with you that it would be great if we could all have a civil discussion about abortion. I will also admit that an article telling antis to shut up is not an example of my shiny, best, southern woman manners. However, I firmly believe that there will be no civil discussions until this discussion is removed from the sidewalks in front of clinics and out of the hands of lawmakers who want to practice medicine. There can also be no civil discussion until the misogyny around abortion goes away. There seem to be a great portion of antis, both men and women, who spend much of their time being upset the women “spread their legs.” As a note to lurking antis, women spread their legs for many reasons beside sex. In fact, unless a woman has a C-section, there will most certainly be women spreading their legs to give birth. The place for discussions about abortion is between individuals, not on the sidewalk in front of clinic where I would assume the decision has already been weighed and made. Abortion should be a private decision just like having children or how many children to have is considered private. Before any of the lurking antis go nuts and say “but, but, but Emily Letts made her abortion public” I want to reiterate the importance of choice in all decisions. This includes the decision to have sex or not, to use contraceptives or not, to have an abortion or not or to have children. I am a fiercely private person, protective of both my own privacy and that of my family and friends, so I can’t imagine doing what Emily Letts did. Does that mean I disapprove? No. It means she made the best decision for. herself. Until the discussion of abortion comes down to allowing a woman to do what is best for herself and her life, I don’t think there will be civil discussion.

      • Dear KYBorn,

        My apologies, as I may have misspoken. I agree 150% with you telling the antis to shut up!!! I would also add, “Shut the F*** up, ignorant sheeple antis!!”

        The unacceptable behaviour of the antichoice protesters IS the reality. Even so I (we?) have a dream, a hope for peace on the clinic sidewalks (someday) in the future, even if it be a far-off future. Since women can simply go to the doctor for any medical need, including abortion, with ease in other countries, then it can and must be that way here, someday.

        Someday. (No, I’m not ready to “hand out bananas” on the sidewalk.) Thank you for hearing me out, and again, I loved reading what you wrote here.

      • Yes, agreed, the antis really do need to shut the hell up.* Since women in many other countries can have an abortion as simply as any other medical appointment, eventually we can and must have that same privacy and civil courtesy here. That must remain a long-term goal.

        Someday.

        Again, I love your comments, passion and clarity, just apologize for not making that clear to you.

        *(As in, “Shut the F up, and learn to myob, you ignorant sheeple antis.”)

  5. Hi Ferret,

    I have to agree with you, but wish we were both wrong. I don’t think most antis are big on self-reflection or being open to differing opinions.

    Thanks for commenting,

    KYBorn

  6. Much as I would like for them to take your hints (even the hints applied with a metaphorical sledgehammer), I sadly think that they will now double-down on their craziness and arrogance and lies.

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