The Adoption Fetish

The fetishization of adoption amongst middle class and upper class conservative christian whites first became apparent to me when I was attending high school. My school was strongly tied to a Southern Baptist church so much so that the head pastor’s children attended my school and his wife taught our bible class (which consisted of watching Veggie Tales((rather juvenile for sophomores in high school, right?))). The pastor and his wife adopted a Chinese baby from an orphanage in which children were abused via ignorance of their basic humans. The child has been left by the road upon her birth and would have most likely lead a terrible life without the rescue of these rich white americans.Why do I know all of this? Because of course,  it isn’t enough to add a member to your family out of love, you have to drive home the financial sacrifice you have made to adopt a hopeless and helpless child coming from an impoverished situation, otherwise your contribution isn’t public….and that isn’t any fun, is it? Following this adoption by the head pastor and the story of salvation of a little Chinese girl there was a rash of trendy adoption of African and Asian children within the church’s upper echelon of wealthy partitioners.  All of the horror stories of these children’s backgrounds were made publicly known, and yet none of us knew anything about the little girls (all of the children adopted were female) themselves. It was creepy, the fad of adoption.

Adoption is wonderful, people shouldn’t be mistreated, its terrible that orphanages like this exist. I agree.  Adopting children then spreading the story of their backgrounds and constantly reminding them of their “otherness” and how wonderful of a savior you and your family are is ALSO awful. That is not an addition to the family, its the addition of an accessory with a neat story, and that saddens me.

So when protestors say there are Christian families who would love to adopt the patient’s child, this often comes to mind. I will say no, not everyone who adopts is like this, not all christians are like this, not all christians who adopt children are like this. But the fact that this even EXISTS is problematic.

4 thoughts on “The Adoption Fetish

  1. I want to say first that I am neither an adoptive nor a biological parent, nor have I wanted to be either. I also agree that there are people who adopt for all the wrong reasons, and there are people who claim that adoption is an option to abortion who are all wrong about that. I don’t believe it is for a variety of reasons, including the fact the woman (rightfully so) needs the biological father’s consent to place the child for adoption and she doesn’t (again rightfully so) need his consent to abort as well as the fact adoption doesn’t in any way negate the burden and physical hardship of pregnancy.
    That said, I think adoption is a perfectly valid way for people to make a family. Some people adopt for all the wrong reasons, and plenty more people have biological children for all the wrong reasons. If people can’t love adopted children they have no business having biological children. I’m not sure why the idea that everyone who adopts is a “bitter infertile” is any better than people who can perform a simple biological function like making a child. Not being able to father a child, get pregnant or remain pregnant is nothing to be ashamed of. Automatically assuming that people who adopt have poor intentions is just as ignorant as assuming that people who have biological children are some sort of saints.
    Also, I am not referring to original post but to the comments afterward who seem to assume that everyone who adopts is evil. That is just as wrong as assuming that people who choose abortion are ignorant, evil and selfish sluts. The fact that there are problems with adoption, and the adoption system in the United States I don’t dispute. There are also tons and tons of problems with people who have biological children who abuse them despite the genetic link. People who have bad intentions and a lousy parents are that no matter how they make a family.

  2. Adoption is never about saving the child-Its always about what adoption brings to the people writing the enormous fees brokers squeeze out of these people. Its also about pretending someone else’s child is just like having your own but we all know that a child who doesn’t share your DNA is not really your child. Blather on and on about God’s love and plan bringing the baby to adopters-its mostly hogwash. Many foreign children are stolen from Indian and Chinese families. The crooks say they are running a school and the parents can visit, etc. Of course, that is a lie. Its horrific the ends brokers will go to to provide neurotic infertile couples with babies. Needless to say, there is much disappointment when the child grows and acts like someone they do not know and then asks where their REAL MOTHER is. Its a mess on many many levels.
    Suicide, drug addiction rates are sky high for adoptees. L’Wren Scott who killed herself was adoptee.

  3. There are over 100,000 American children in foster care today waiting for homes. Over 100,000.

    While the idea that all of these fetuses could be adopted sounds wonderful until you recall that all of those “adoptable” babies? Mean more children in foster care NOT being adopted.

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