It was an ordinary Saturday. Pouring down rain, so there weren’t a whole lot of protesters or a whole lot of escorts either. Clients came, we walked them in, and we all went home.
I stayed up in the front most of the morning. I took some pictures. Did some videos too. I get annoyed when the protesters stand in the drop-off zone, particularly with their umbrellas up. Here they are:
But you’ve seen that before. Old news. Taking a picture of them is pointless. If you’ve been reading the blog for long, you recognize them.
There aren’t really as many of them as it looks like. But that’s what you would see if you were being dropped off.
it is the drop-off zone. And no, they’re not blocking it, they’re just making it look hard to get through
I kind of like the little cradle on the ground though. (Ok, not really.)
I am annoyed by the preacher guy, who’s so loud and obnoxious. When I start doing my video, he drops it down a notch or two, but when I quit videoing, he ratchets it back up again.
And you’ve seen him before, or some preacher on the sidewalk similar enough. Ho hum.
Nurse Betty is annoying. She turns away when I start to video her, puts her umbrella up between us, but then changes her mind. Instead, she starts talking about my mama. Thanks, Nurse Betty.
Of course you can barely hear her. Drowned out by the preacher guy. My favorite part is at the very beginning, when she decides not to hide behind her umbrella, but turns and starts fussing at me. But I also like the part where her friend decides to take my picture.
Whatever. It’s pointless. She didn’t know my mama. She doesn’t know anything about what she thought or how she raised me. And I’ve already heard all this crap from them. It was shocking the first time. Now, it just irritates me.
I leave the clinic annoyed. On the verge of angry. It’s like a bad frigging version of Groundhog Day. Over and over, the same stuff.
And I’m sick of it.
I don’t like the way I feel when I leave the clinic, and it lingers for too long. Am I burnt out? Where have I misplaced my zen?
This week, I saw this quote:
“You hold in your hand an invitation: to remember the transforming power of forgiveness and loving kindness. To remember that no matter where you are and what you face, within your heart peace is possible.”
~~ Jack Kornfield
And this one:
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
― C.G. Jung
And even this:
I feel ridiculous. Why am I letting them get to me this way? They’re not effective. In fact, they’re relatively insignificant, in the greater scheme of things. So why do I let them bother me?
Oh, wait, I know why! They’re symbols. In my mind, they represent the people who have enough power to really do some harm. The people in the legislature in Texas. And Wisconsin. And North Dakota. The people who are going to actually restrict women’s ability to access health care, the people who want women barefoot and pregnant.
I feel threatened by them, in a really primal way, in defense of all the women I know and care about it. But Donna and Nurse Betty, Camera Joe and Mary, are not really stopping anyone from getting an abortion. They’re an annoyance.
So how do I shift my feelings? How do I do this without letting it override my own internal balance? That has always been the question for me, and is part of what keeps me on the sidewalk, trying to figure it out.
I’ve got more to say, but not right now. Stay tuned for the next episode of The Cranky Escort.