All Except For Mine

“ I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex.” – From the movie “The Big Chill” (1983)

I am reminded of this quote frequently when I escort. It will be called to mind by things the antis say/yell to clients or sometimes things the client says. This day the quote was readily called to mind.

The car pulled to the curb early. I approached the car and asked, “Are you going to the abortion clinic this morning?” The client replied, “Yes. I don’t believe in abortion, but my situation is different. I would never get an abortion unless I had to. I don’t think it is right.” I replied, “Well everyone has to reach their own decision. No one but you knows what brings you here today.”

I went on to explain about escorts wearing orange vests, when the doors opened, and what their parking options were. As I left the car, I advised them protesters might approach their car and talk to them or hand them pamphlets. The client responded, “I don’t care. I agree with them. I can explain to them why I need this abortion.”

As I left the car, I was reminded (not for the first time) of Joyce Arthur’s article “The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion.” This is probably one of the most-shared articles about abortion because it spells out this attitude exactly. Rationalization among anti-abortion advocates until their pregnancy presents a need for an exception to apply in their case.

Before the doors opened, D spent some time talking to this client through their car window. They did eventually roll their window up and stopped talking. When we escorted the client to the door, D also stayed away from this client and did not engage with them during the walk.

I wonder if D accepted the explanation from the client as being a valid reason for abortion. If past history is any indication, she didn’t.

No details of why are really heard by the protesters.

4 thoughts on “All Except For Mine

  1. Being pro-choice means that I care much more that you are able to get the medical care you need over my own judgments of you as a person. That’s what separates us from these bullies on the street and this nasty little hypocrite.

    • Longtail,

      I know what you mean. Pro-choice to me is judgment free. Escorts have no input in the reproductive choices for anyone. That is what separates us from the bullies/harassers/shamers on the sidewalk. I actually felt sympathy for this client. If/when the realization comes for this disconnected rationalization, it will be a hard lesson.


  2. An excellent example of cognitive dissonance. It’s so easy to dole out judgment to others, but demand compassion for ourselves. I struggle with passing harsh judgment on the protestors. I try to show them compassion. I often fail—yes, I flipped off the Immanuel Baptist dude just last Saturday. Even though I tried to be the nicest, least judgmental Mormon out there, it still took me 42 years to say, “I won’t have anything to do with your hateful organization.” Thanks for the post.

    • Kristi,

      We all struggle when dealing with the antis to find the balance between anger, compassion and just ignoring them when we are on the sidewalk. I don’t have the balance always in tune either, but it is a goal.

      Thank you,

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