This Is Not…

I rolled my eyes today on the sidewalk – I know, you’re probably shocked.  But I was walking with a woman and her companion when a protester came up behind us.  I didn’t realize she was a protester until she started, “You don’t have to do this, you don’t have to kill your baby,”

~~ and she kept it up, all the way up the sidewalk, right behind the client who was shaking her head, and then when we got to the property line, D took up the refrain, “Don’t kill your baby, don’t kill your baby, if you go in there, your baby will be in a garbage can before the day is over, don’t let them put your baby in a garbage can,”

~~  and I thought, as I always do, “it’s not a baby,’ and that’s when I did it, I rolled my eyes ~

~~ to which one of the young male protesters said, “Why do you act like that?  That’s what they’re doing in there ~ killing babies.  Her baby will be in the garbage can unless she comes out of there.”

And I thought, it’s like a really bad refrain to a really bad song.  And the record’s stuck right there.   If I weren’t committed to non-engagement, maybe I would say it ~

“It’s not a baby.  That’s why I act like that when you say it.  You call it a baby to make yourself feel good, and to try to make the clients feel bad.  But it’s not.  It’s  just not.”


{Image is from Facebook}



There is a special training about self-care next week. You do not need to be an escort to attend. Here are the details:

Taking Care: Exploring Strategies for Activists

Don’t be scared off by the A word! This workshop is for parents, teachers, friends, advocates, and allies!

Join us for an evening of activities and discussion presented by members of Wench Selfcare Education Collective.

Snacks and PRIZES!


When: Monday, December 3, 2012,  6P-8P.

Where: Louisville Free Public Library, 301 York St, Louisville, KY 40203

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About Fausta

Trauma sensitive Consultant and Coach for Compassionate professionals who experience second hand trauma and are at risk of burnout so they can keep doing the work that matters to them and to the world.

8 thoughts on “This Is Not…

  1. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to start this post for days now, and I’ve got nothing. I just want to offer my entire agreement with you on this. Their emotional whining fails to stir any sort of empathy because I actually DO know what the development cycle of a baby is.

    It’s not a baby. It takes a good deal of time to become a baby. We all pretty much start out as the Playdough of the universe otherwise.

    • Hi, Longtail,

      Thanks for weighing in, I appreciate your thoughts, as always!

      “The play dough of the universe…” – that’s a great image.


  2. Hi, Linda,

    {Sorry it took me so long to approve your comment – I thought I’d done it already, and just now realized I hadn’t…}

    Thanks for the support, and yes, um, i’ve been known to snap back from time to time, but I really do try not to.

    And I appreciate your question about why they were able to end your pregnancy in a hospital in CT – I don’t know. I know that hospitals and doctors here do routinely refer women to the clinic, and I think I’ve asked about this before, but it’s not clear enough in my mind to give you a good answer. I’m gonna go do some research – or ask some folks who know more about this then I do. Perhaps it’s a blogpost in itself.

    In any case, thanks for asking, and thanks for commenting!!

  3. I have many thoughts this morning. 🙂
    I give you alot of credit for not snapping back at these protestors, but wouldn’t blame you if you’ve done so now and then. I have a couple of friends on facebook who occasionally post prolife things which irritate me, the sticky situation is that my family and theirs have been friends since I was a baby, and I DO like them for other reasons. I have to keep telling myself its not worth starting an argument with them on facebook of all things. I’ve been good about ignoring them so far, but it tests my patience sometimes.

    I like that image you posted, i’ve never actually seen a picture of a silkworm before. That made me pause for a moment before I realized what it must be haha.

    Thank you for posting these stories, it helps me to keep perspective. I lived in CT for a while, when I unexpectedly became pregnant about 7 years ago. I realized it early, thank goodness, I think it was in the range of 12 or 16 weeks. I wasn’t expecting to become pregnant at all as i’d actually had my tubes tied a few months earlier. Apparently that can happen though the odds are very low, about the same as winning the lottery. And yes, amidst my shock and upset, I still thought at the time that I should go out and buy a lotto ticket. har har. I was lucky, I didn’t have to go to a clinic, my doc did the procedure in the hospital under general anesthesia. I was 25, and not really as into women’s issues as I am now, and it honestly never occurred to me that i’d have to go to a clinic, I just assumed it would be done in a hospital. I’ve actually tried googling the answer to this question, and not found a definitive answer, I was wondering if you might know. Do you know why most women dont just get it done in a hospital? Is it because most of the women who go to clinics dont have a regular obgyn doc like I did?

    • Ok, here’s a partial answer from National Abortion Federation:

      “Declining Number of Hospitals Providing Abortion Services

      Today, about 95% of women who need abortions have them in clinics or in private doctors’ offices where costs can be kept low without increasing health risks.

      This pattern of abortion service delivery represents a significant shift away from hospital provided abortion care, which was far more common in the early years after the laws criminalizing abortion were struck down. “According to the American Hospital Association, there were 5,801 hospitals in the United States in 2001. However, a 2001-2002 study by the Guttmacher Institute identified only 603 hospitals that provided abortions in 2001.”2 This has serious implications for abortion access. Women in rural areas where there are no abortion clinics, and low-income women who depend on hospital emergency services for medical care, are left unserved when hospitals do not provide abortions.”

      I’ve still the question out there for other responses, but seems like that’s a big one right there. I’m betting that hospitals here don’t do them.

      • FML,

        I am going to jump in here for a minute. We posted an article on abortion laws in Kentucky a few months ago. One of the laws in Kentucky is: A woman may not obtain abortion care at a publicly owned hospital or other publicly owned health-care facility unless the procedure is necessary to preserve her life. Ky. Rev. Stat. Ann. § 311.800(1) (Enacted 1980).

        In an effort to make abortion more difficult to access in many states, the laws have been written to have them only allowed in a clinic. While the cost is less in a clinic than a hospital setting, the hospital is not always an option for everyone.

        Guttmacher Institute has a good overview with comparisons of requirements in each state. When you look up the individual state of Connecticut, it has this to say: “Connecticut does not have any of the major types of abortion restrictions—such as waiting periods, mandated parental involvement or limitations on publicly funded abortions—often found in other states.” This is good for the residents of Connecticut.

        Hope this answers your question, or at least somewhat.


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