The Blogging Community and Reproductive Choice

Thanks to A Bookish Beemer, who tagged us with the Versatile Bloggers Award!  You can read the nice things she said about us here.  To accept the award, we have to:

1) Nominate 15 fellow bloggers

2) Inform the Bloggers of their nomination

3) Share 7 random things about yourself

4) Thank the blogger who nominated you

5) Post the award badge.

So far, I’ve done number 4 ~ thanked BB ~ and haven’t even done that well.  But I need to consult with the other escorts about the blogs we want to select, and the facts about escorts that we want to share.  I’ll have that post ready by next Wednesday.  In the meantime ~

This post caught my eye on Facebook, so I reposted it.  By Sunsara Taylor, the post is entitled:

Should a Woman Feel Sad About Her Abortion? Fuck No!

It’s an impassioned piece that starts out:

There is absolutely nothing wrong, tragic, unfortunate, or sad about a woman choosing to get an abortion. Nothing.”

It’s a brief post, but powerful.  One piece that particularly resonated with me:

“If a woman is impregnated because of being raped, it is the rape that is the horrific crime – the abortion which prevents her from being forced to bear the child of her rapist is positive and liberating.

If a woman really wants a child but something goes wrong with the pregnancy, it is the medical problems that are the tragedy – the abortion that eliminates those dangers is positive and liberating.”

As I read that, I realized how affected I have been by the atmosphere the anti’s create on the sidewalk.

 The antis have taken some beautiful ideas and beliefs and used them to cover their toxic, hateful beliefs about women and sex and our role in the universe.  Their poison is covered with a thin overlay of Christian kindness and concern,
The hateful ideas they spew hang in the air and seem to cling to my skin when I leave.  I can go for days, weeks, maybe, while the toxin builds up on me.

I am most acutely aware of that when something cuts through the slime, as this article did.  Suddenly, I am breathing cleaner, feeling lighter.

Thanks to Sunsara Taylor for that!  Her article cut through the slime residue the antis left like ~ like Dawn dishwashing liquid cuts through grease!  I feel so much better.


After I posted the link on my Facebook page, I got a comment from Gabriele Alcalde, who is a strong supporter of reproductive justice.  She said:

“I think the problem is when anyone tries to tell women how they should feel or interpret their situation…I find that this blog does the same, limiting what a woman should or should not feel…it is a personal decision and experience and I find anyone telling a woman what is “normal” or “appropriate” to feel paternalistic…it may be sad for some, it may not for others, and everywhere in between and women have a right to whatever emotions they have without anyone telling them what’s “normal”…”

And she’s right.

I appreciated the reminder.

I felt like ~ how can I describe it?  It’s like the antis take this incredibly firm, extreme stance against abortion.  Firm is an understatement, it’s chipped in concrete.  No shades of gray there.

Sunsara’s blog is equally firm.  It etches out a position at the opposite end of that.  Carves out space for me to stand that is unapologetic and proud.  I needed that.  There is warrior energy in her post.  I needed to read it, needed to feel it.

Gabriela’s comment pulls me back to where I want to be.  I don’t want to fall into the habit of thinking in ‘all or nothing” ways.  I want to remember nuances, room for differences, and a full range of ways to think and feel, or I become like the antis.  Carved in stone in one place.

It took both parts of the discussion ~ Sunsara’s blog and Gabriella’s comment ~ to position me.  The beauty of the pro-access community is that we do that for each other, and I hope this blog does that for some of you.

I had intended to end this post there, but along those same lines, I’ve been folllowing the comments on a post by The Sex Geek.  Entitled “why rape jokes aren’t funny even if you’re kinky,” it’s not about reproductive choice directly, but clearly speaks to rape culture.

Sex Geek argues the point beautifully.  She makes her case eloquently, and while I didn’t need convincing, I really appreciated hearing her reason it out.

I’ve been surprised by the number of comments suggesting she’s wrong. It’s been a little disheartening, but probably good for me to hear.  Sometimes I’m too sheltered.

So I read a comment and get all annoyed and indignant, frustrated with the commenter.

And Sex Geek comes back to counter each comment in a voice that’s reasonable and stays true to her original point.  She has patiently avoided being sidetracked by nonsense.  I am so impressed with her, both the original argument, and her ability to respond appropriately to each new “yes, but” comment, that I had to mention her here.

So I begin to feel a real sense of community, the connectedness among us growing stronger.  Each voice bringing its own wisdom, it’s own part of the story.  Thanks to all of you for being part of that.

And stay tuned next Wednesday, when we gratefully accept the Versatile Bloggers Award, so kindly bestowed on us by the delightful Bookish Beemer!

6 thoughts on “The Blogging Community and Reproductive Choice

    • Hi, Ebania,

      Thanks for the kind words. We hope it’s helpful for people in some way ~ sorry we couldn’t be there for you! 🙂

  1. Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate the encouraging words, and I love that you felt supported by my work in doing the good work you do, even though until you pingbacked me I didn’t know you existed! The interwebs are so cool sometimes. 😉 Best wishes to you.

    • @Sexgeek –

      Thank you for visiting, and for commenting. The internet is pretty cool… 🙂

      I’m still watching you argue with the commenters over on your blog, in awe of your skills and patience… good wishes back to you!!

  2. This is a really nice reminder to find the balance and always to be open to new ideas. We have so many brilliant people working for reproductive justice. I know I learn from them every day. Thank you for expressing these thoughts so well.

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