How I Cope

from a guest writer and escort of 5+ years

All of us cope differently with the stress of Saturday Morning.  Here, FWIW, are some thoughts on what I strive to do…to serve the clients in a good way and to take care of myself.

First and foremost, I think about my purpose as an escort.  I call it my Mission.

My Mission is to create safety and support for a woman’s reproductive choice by overcoming obstacles to her access to the abortion clinic.

Wordy.  Not perfect.  Not finished.  But clear enough that it has helped me check my attitude and behavior when (not if) I’m triggered.

Here’s the key.  The more awake I am to my Mission, the better able I am to be in integrity and less likely I am to act out. Having a Mission and being awake to it is a way for me to hold myself accountable.

So, I choose to be awake.  I’m asking you to help me stay awake, accountable and in alignment with my Mission.  Listen to me, for example, when I repeat my Mission to you…even if that sounds corny.  Trust me, it works for me.

OK, shifting gears.  How might all this look?

Consider, for example, my urge to cope by labeling the protestors.  For starters, I recognize that this urge comes from a place in me of judgment, fear and anger.  By definition, it will be impossible for me to be in integrity with my Mission when I’m judgmental, fearful and angry.

Anyway, here’s a list of labels that come to mind when (again, not if) I feel an urge to sling some labels around, spoken or unspoken:

●      Bullying

●      Rude

●      Demeaning

●      Patriarchal

●      Predatory

●      Self-righteous

●      Bigoted

●      Stupid

●      Asshole

●      Fucker

●      Delusional

●      Dense

●      Uncaring

●      Pompous

●      Belligerent

●      Insensitive

OK.  You get the idea.

What I notice first about this list is that the protestors (if they ever think about me) probably have a very similar list of labels for me.  While I understand that protestors and the escorts are fundamentally different, thinking about label-reciprocity helps me cope without losing my shit.

It helps me to get to a place of acceptance.  A place of Oh, well.

When I’m tempted to lose my shit, I remember my Mission and look at how that temptation aligns.  Experience has shown it doesn’t.  Losing my shit serves something in me, but it doesn’t serve the clients by creating safety and support.

My two cents.

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About wench

Wench is based in Louisville KY. What started as a Selfcare Health Education Collective in 2005 has bloomed and flourished and exploded and re-rooted and bloomed again and again. We now wench (verb) all over the US and beyond. Many are still in KY fighting for abortion access, repro and racial justice, and bodily autonomy for all.

3 thoughts on “How I Cope

  1. Pingback: How I Engage « Everysaturdaymorning's Blog

  2. excellent post. . .thank you for the reminder, “it will be impossible for me to be in integrity with my Mission when I’m judgmental, fearful and angry.” brilliant. . .thank you! and thank you for escorting.

  3. I love this! I’m not even sure who wrote it, but I really like your approach. Very insightful and – focused on your own role in this mess. You know I love that!

    FML

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