Tag Archives: protester

When Calling Doesn’t Help

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The client and companion pulled to the curb right at 7a and the client jumped out of the car immediately. We explained the clinic doors didn’t open until 7:30a. They replied they knew, but wanted to wait by the door because they wanted to be the first into the clinic.

We then explained the orange vests and protesters, and that the protesters would talk to them while they waited, but wouldn’t cross the property line. The client replied, “Oh, I know all about them. I went into their so-called clinic last week by mistake. It was horrible and I missed my appointment. I want to be sure I get in first this time.”  

We explained the $3 parking lot to the companion and let them know we would be there to help them there after we walked the client to the door.

D was right there before we took two steps towards the entrance, telling the client to “just take two minutes to come to A Woman’s Choice. They aren’t open anyway. What harm will it do?” The client replied, “Get away from me. I have already been there and know all about that place. I don’t want you to talk to me.” Of course, D didn’t listen. She continued to talk to the client while they were standing by the door.

Two escorts stayed at the entrance with the client while I went across to the lot to help the companion with the payment box. The companion decided to wait a little while in the warm car before standing by the door.

When I came back to the door, the client was shaking, upset and yelling at D to leave them alone. After I heard her say to D three times, each successively louder, to “Leave me alone,” I told D, “She has asked you to leave her alone three times. Now you are harassing her.” The expected, “I’m not harassing her. I just want her to know her options,” was the response. Then she continued to talk to the client and the client again told her to leave her alone.

I turned to the client and said, “You can call Police Dispatch and report her for harassing you if you want. I’m not sure what they will do, but you can call.” The client indicated they would like to call and I gave them the phone number.

While the client was waiting for the police, the companion also came to the door to wait with the client. I met them halfway down the sidewalk and said, “I’m glad you are here,” while catching them up with what had happened.The client and companion were together by the door while they waited for police response..

Two squad cars came within minutes. D reached the responding officer first and gave her version. When the officer talked to the client they were told D could say anything she wanted to them because of “free speech.”Sigh. Sometimes it works to call the police and sometimes it doesn’t. It all depends on who responds and their views on abortion.

After the officer left, D turned to me and said, “You are just a busybody.” However, D and the other protesters did leave them alone after the conversation with the officer, but this particular client had two unpleasant trips to the clinic. I worry that I contributed to the second unpleasant trip by suggesting they call the police.

Actually, police presence had the antis subdued until the majority of the clients went into the door. After they went in, an anti who regularly prays by the curb noticed it was quiet, picked up the fetal porn poster, and stood at the entrance shouting, “Do you know about Jesus? If you haven’t heard about Jesus you need to.” D actually waved her away after a few minutes.

Politics and your view on abortion should not determine how you interpret harassment. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean others cannot be offended by your speech or they cannot ask you to stop talking to them.

New Escort Story ~ by Anonymous

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I am a new escort. I cannot speak for all new escorts, but I hope that my post will give both potential future escorts and more experienced escorts some insight into what it is like to be a new clinic escort.

I first heard about the escort group when calls were put out for extra assistance on the day before Easter. My husband and I are very pro-choice, and decided to put our values into action by volunteering as escorts. The email said that you were expected to not engage/argue with the protesters and I figured I could handle it. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect in terms of the number of protesters (or their volume) but figured there might be people holding signs and yelling. My husband and I were given clinic escort vests and a brief rundown – ask people if they want to be escorted, walk at their speed, don’t engage with the protesters, don’t touch the protesters (or they’ll cry “assault!”), keep talking even if it’s just about the weather, to just keep the client’s attention away from the screaming.

In the chaos, I somehow found myself escorting from the $3 lot. (Please know that this is unusual! New escorts typically undergo a lot of shadowing before actually escorting). It was a quick frenzy of jaywalking (at the client’s request), shouting protesters, and emotion. My mind didn’t even have time to process everything that was happening. One protester ran up to me and bumped into me, trying desperately to reach the client. Everything in my mind cried out, “You will not hurt her!” and in a moment of intense (and selfish) need to feel like I could protect the client, I put my arm around her. The client, her face set with determination, yelled back at the protesters. Just as she reached the door, a protester wailed out, “Don’t DO it, darlin’!” and as suddenly as it had began, it was over. The client was inside the clinic.

It was then that I met one of the senior escorts, as she pulled me aside and helped me to realize that I had just broken one of the fundamental Points of Unity – asking the client’s consent (not just to be escorted, but also to be touched). My heart sank. With the panic of the crowd subsiding, I knew she was right. Logically I had known that, but in the chaos of the moment, there is no logic. As my husband and I walked back across the street to the parking lot, I started to get choked up. I hadn’t realized it was going to be so intense. The raw emotion felt too overwhelming.

We stayed a bit longer. I turned in my vest, thanked the other volunteers, got to my car, and started to cry as I tried to process my first escort experience.

I found myself at the escort training two weeks later. I think I oscillated between “I really want to do this” and “I don’t think I can handle this!” about ten times during the two-hour training.

The same experienced escort from my first experience encouraged me to try again, this time during a weekday morning when the sidewalk tends to be quieter.

My second time escorting was on a weekday morning. Now armed with non-sidewalk training and a deeper insight into the Points of Unity, I felt more confident. Being assigned the sole job of observing for that morning was incredibly helpful. I breathed more, forced myself to mentally slow down the events, allowed myself to process everything at a calmer rate.

In processing my somewhat unique start to escorting, I have realized that I (perhaps like many new escorts) was misdirecting energy during my first experience. In the chaos, I allowed myself to think that clients needed protection. This is not an unusual thought, I suppose, when you actually get a glimpse of some of the more vocal and hysterical protesters. The whole experience felt dramatic, frenzied, and full of helplessness. After the training, I saw clearly that the experience was about empowerment. We provide the space for clients to be empowered by always asking consent, by remaining calm and quiet, and by not engaging with the protesters.

Psychologists often speak of learning as a process of using what you know to navigate the world. People use mental scripts to guide expectations of what to do in new situations. For example, a mental script for ordering food in a restaurant can help you learn how to order food at a drive through.

There is no script for escorting on the sidewalk. Nothing in my life had prepared me for the chaos from the protesters. All of the implicit, unspoken rules we use for engaging with people in our daily life (turn-taking, respecting personal space, not yelling at strangers) seem to be forgotten by the protesters. For new escorts, facing this bizarre situation with no mental framework for guidance is a disorienting and chaotic experience! The escort training (both formal and on-the-sidewalk training) has been helpful in providing guidance. Even so, as a new escort, it feels very unsettling to not have a mental script to help me process events on the sidewalk. There is nothing in my daily life that helps me relate to this bizarre occurrence of people showing up daily to harass other people who are just trying to make the walk from their car to their doctor’s office.

To the more seasoned escorts: I am trying, I am listening, and I will do my best. I will probably still beat myself up for mistakes, no matter how many times you tell me not to. I still feel anxious at times, even though you teach me the “thousand-yard stare” that gives me a serene face to present toward the protesters. I am still trying to manage my emotions in a way that will allow me to provide a calm presence for the clients and their companions. And despite all of this, I will still show up to escort, even though there is still a part of me that doubts that my money wouldn’t be more helpful than my physical presence. As one experienced escort put into words, “I don’t think I can do this, but I know I have to do this”. How very true.

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REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

 

 

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Sidewalk Snippet ~ {4/29/13}

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It was raining again and it was an easy morning for escorts. There were just a few antis out.

We had several very empowered clients and companions. It is always a privilege to witness them navigate around the antis with ease. Several companions thanked the escorts for what we do, including physical pats on the back from a couple of them. Clients were upbeat and seemingly unphased by the words the antis said, sailing peacefully into the clinic.

As the morning’s activity was winding down, the antis were getting more aggressive with their words and walking two antis to every client. Still, the clients ignored them.

One of the last clients coming in had two companions. I was able to explain the difference between protesters and escorts before we were joined by two antis. In my explanation, I added the phrase, “You can ignore the protesters. This is one place you can be rude.” The client pointed to one companion and said, “That’s why we brought him.” The two antis zeroed in on the two companions because the one brought to be rude was talking to them. The client and I were able to walk in front without interference, sharing our amusement over the comments being exchanged.

Before the morning was over, the pedestrians on the sidewalk joined in. One runner stopped in front of the two prayers across from the clinic entrance. He asked them, “What is going on here?” One answered, “We are praying for the babies. This is an abortion clinic.” The runner answered, “You have been deceived by Satan. This is not Christianity. You are wrong to be here.” Then they continued running down the sidewalk. The “We will pray for you,” shouted after them was met with a curse tossed over a shoulder.

If I had one wish, I would wish for no antis in front of the clinic. If this wish cannot be granted, this day was the next best thing.

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REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

 

 

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Sidewalk Snippet ~ {4/8/13}

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“Show some respect. There are 26 babies being murdered in there and you are laughing and dancing around.”

D sure knows how to bring a conversation to a standstill. All of the clients were in the clinic and we were waiting for late arrivals before leaving. Another escort and I were standing at the entrance to the clinic and talking about the weather, ballet, and what had happened in our lives during the time we had not seen each other. We were laughing as we traded stories and were enjoying each other’s company.

When D made her proclamation, we both turned to her and said her name. You know, in the way you say someone’s name when you can’t believe they just said something so off-subject and unaware.

It had been a day with a lot of antis and D always gets energized when she has an audience. Earlier she was stomping up the sidewalk beside another escort and telling them, “I am not a protester. You know I am out here to protect babies. You are an accomplice to murder.” The three other antis in the area were watching her performance and letting her know how they appreciated D’s words afterwards.

It seemed inevitable that she would try a repeat performance. Unfortunately for D, her witnesses did not see her encore performance. E was the only other anti present and he has heard it all before. She was left with no praise and only our backs to her face as we continued our conversation.

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REMINDER: If you are interested in escorting, don’t forget the training on Saturday, April 13th at 9A.  Training is not required, but it’s helpful. Please see our Trainings for Escorts page or email us for additional information

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

 

 

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An Anniversary

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It was Easter the first time I escorted at the clinic.  Easter in 2009.

I went with my daughter.  She was an escort long before that, starting maybe back in the late nineties?  Or it could have been 2000, or 2001.  A long time ago in any case.   Often, she and some other young escorts would drag themselves, still half-asleep ~ if they’d slept at all ~ out of my basement on the way to the clinic.

They would come back with stories.  I would be appalled and worried, feel angry and helpless.  You already know the stories ~ they were not very different from what you read here today.  Some of the protesters were even the same.  I “knew” Mary long before the first time I went to the clinic.

In fact, Mary asks me about my daughter occasionally.  She did it again recently.  She’ll say she hasn’t seen her lately, and look concerned.  ”How’s she doing?” she’ll say.  It makes me laugh now ~ she was hateful to my daughter in person, why would she be concerned about her now?

I suspect that she thinks something unpleasant has happened.   Maybe that’s just my own suspicious nature talking, but that’s how it feels.  It’s in her voice tone and the look in her eye.  I think she’s trying to see if there’s a wound she can rub salt in.

But that’s ok, cause there is no wound, my daughter is doing just fine, thank you very much, so it makes me laugh.  Of course I don’t answer;  I don’t talk to protesters.

By 2009, my daughter was an occasional escort, showing up for big days when she was around.  She had invited me before, but I’d always said no.  I’m not sure why I said yes this time.

But there we were, riding down together. I remember being surprised – 6:30 on a Saturday morning and there was a line of traffic turning right on Market Street.   That seemed surreal.

I remember being overwhelmed.  So many people, so much going on… like a carnival.  Like being in the middle of the midway.  Loud and colorful, lots of signs, people with bullhorns, so much going on…

Here’s a picture from that day:

dsc01053

You can’t see the preachers in this picture, they’re on the other side of where the camera was.  And you can’t see the truck with the billboard that takes up two or three parking places, or ~ well, you can’t see lots of other things.

Here is the post rosary prayer circle from that year:

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You can even see Donna, lined up near the building.

I knew that day that I wanted to escort.  I was not an outspoken feminist then, nor an outspoken advocate for reproductive justice.  I was a feminist, and an advocate, but not nearly as outspoken.  Back then, I was concerned about how people I knew might react to me escorting at the clinic.  Back then, I didn’t always have a good argument to make, or a support system to encourage me.

But I knew that morning that I wanted to escort, and I’ve been there most Saturdays since then.   The decision to go with my daughter that morning has changed my life, enriched it and helped me grow in so many ways.  The community of escorts is ~ collectively and often individually ~ wise and funny and thought-provoking and interesting, and I’m grateful that my life took this turn.

This year, on my four year anniversary, we had so many new folks and occasional escorts that it was amazingly lovely.   It seemed ~ to this jaded old-hand ~  like a fairly mild Saturday.  There was one protester who was unusually aggressive, but it didn’t seem “bad” to me ~ whatever that means, right?  But that’s because I forget how overwhelming it really is.

Here’s the sidewalk:

IMG_2267And here’s the post rosary prayer circle.

IMG_2278

So “bad” is just a word, and “mild” doesn’t mean a thing.

But I’ve never regretted getting involved.  If you’ve ever considered coming down, you’re invited.

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REMINDER: If you are interested in escorting, don’t forget the training on Saturday, April 13th at 9A.  Training is not required, but it’s helpful. Please see our Trainings for Escorts page or email us for additional information

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

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Sidewalk Snippet ~ {3/18/13}

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There are times a client and/or companion is so empowered they instantly gain my admiration.

The companion got out of the car first. E was hovering right behind me ready to start shaming. I was able to explain the vests and offer to escort them before he began his spiel. E handed the companion some literature. When I explained he was a protester, they handed it right back to him.

The companion and I escorted the client down the sidewalk. We were in a line: E, companion, client and me. E started with “Women regret their abortions. Don’t lead her into this place.” The companion waved dismissively at him and said, “Oh, I know all about abortion. I have had 10 already.” There was a pause then E leaned over towards the client and said “You don’t have to go into that place.” The client turned to me and said, “I am not listening to him.” I replied that was best.

We walked to the clinic entrance with E talking the whole time, but nobody was paying any attention to him.

It was great to witness these two completely ignoring the words meant to hurt and shame them. They are just words. The antis don’t know anything about the clients and why they made the decision for abortion. I felt privileged to witness this calm confidence.

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REMINDER:  Kentucky Support Network’s 2013 Bowl-a-Thon is April 19

There are many ways to get involved:

    • Captain a team, set a fundraising goal, and recruit 4-6 other bowlers to work together to meet that goal
    • Join or donate to an existing team
    • Show your support by attending the event
    • Share this information with your friends, family, coworkers, and networks via email, Facebook, Twitter, other social media, or good old-fashioned word of mouth!

However you choose to get involved, know that your support is invaluable in helping people from all walks of life realize their reproductive rights!

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REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!
The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.
Use this form to make your pledge:

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All Except For Mine

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“ I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex.” – From the movie “The Big Chill” (1983)

I am reminded of this quote frequently when I escort. It will be called to mind by things the antis say/yell to clients or sometimes things the client says. This day the quote was readily called to mind.

The car pulled to the curb early. I approached the car and asked, “Are you going to the abortion clinic this morning?” The client replied, “Yes. I don’t believe in abortion, but my situation is different. I would never get an abortion unless I had to. I don’t think it is right.” I replied, “Well everyone has to reach their own decision. No one but you knows what brings you here today.”

I went on to explain about escorts wearing orange vests, when the doors opened, and what their parking options were. As I left the car, I advised them protesters might approach their car and talk to them or hand them pamphlets. The client responded, “I don’t care. I agree with them. I can explain to them why I need this abortion.”

As I left the car, I was reminded (not for the first time) of Joyce Arthur’s article “The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion.” This is probably one of the most-shared articles about abortion because it spells out this attitude exactly. Rationalization among anti-abortion advocates until their pregnancy presents a need for an exception to apply in their case.

Before the doors opened, D spent some time talking to this client through their car window. They did eventually roll their window up and stopped talking. When we escorted the client to the door, D also stayed away from this client and did not engage with them during the walk.

I wonder if D accepted the explanation from the client as being a valid reason for abortion. If past history is any indication, she didn’t.

No details of why are really heard by the protesters.

Where Are We Going?

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“I have been coming here for 25 years. I know what I am talking about.”

This was screamed at the clinic doors by R trying to convince clients to come talk to him. Twenty-five years is a long time to devote one or more mornings a week to bullying, shaming and harassing clients because they did not make the decision you believe is right. That time commitment goes beyond a belief and drifts into a lifetime vocation of being a bully; a lifetime vocation of hating women; a lifetime vocation of wanting to control another’s choices about their body.

He is not alone. A lot of the antis have been coming out to harass clients and their companions for 20-plus years. Some come out almost every day the clinic is open; week after week; year after year.

I have thought of this dedication to control another person’s health care decisions as more and more anti-abortion legislation is proposed and passed by different states. It seems that every day brings another proposed bill: TRAP laws designed to close clinics; mandatory ultrasounds for all abortion procedures including RU-486 medication abortions; mandatory in-person counseling; waiting periods lengthened to exclude holidays and weekends; banning abortion after 20 weeks or in Kentucky at 6 weeks. (See IN Senate Bill 371; KY Senate Bill 4; KY Senate Bill 5, KY House Bill 132;  SD House Bill 1237, ND House Bill 1456) There is even a new flurry of bills regulating miscarriages and personhood agendas that would put women in prison for “killing” a fertilized egg. The one bright light in this flurry of anti-abortion legislation is New York’s movement to ease abortion restrictions.

We definitely know the chipping away of Roe vs Wade by state legislators will not eradicate the need for abortion. If the extremists are successful in shutting down most of the clinics in the country it will force a lot of people to go back to the pre-Roe vs Wade days of illegal abortions. Only those with financial resources or luckily living in states with less restrictions will have access to abortion.

There was a really thoughtful article published by Betsy Phillips in January about abortion access in Tennessee. It addresses the comments that people can just go someplace else for their abortion.

  • The funny/terrible part is that here in Tennessee I have had politicians and their staffs tell me to my face on several occasions that they can’t understand why I’m so worked up about abortion rights, after all women who “really need” them can go to Atlanta, even if they’re impossible to get here.

Her article is one that I keep coming back to in my mind because I hear the same thing: they can just go to another state where abortion is still legal. Everyone can just travel to New York. What happens if they cannot afford to travel, take time off work, arrange childcare, and jump the various state restrictions they will face? How many people needing abortions will seek dangerous solutions?

And now we are back to the beginning of this article. What will these extremists focus on next if they are successful in shutting down abortion clinics around the country? Where will they expend their energies to bully and harass? Will they move their operations to New York? Will it be demonstrating in front of OB/Gyn offices who prescribe contraception? Will it be pharmacies that fill prescriptions for contraception? Will it just be protesting in front of any healthcare facility? Will it be in front of religious or atheist meeting places that don’t conform to their brand of Christianity? Will it be some other place or cause in their attempts to control people’s lives?

Where are we going to go from here? Where are they going to go next?

Sidewalk Snippet ~ {2/25/13}

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We escorted a client and companion to the doors of the clinic before they opened. There were not many antis out that morning, but they were determined to stop, block and yell. We had to dodge around them at the entrance.

The client and companion talked to a couple of escorts while waiting for the door to open. They were asking about how they could join the escorts. We explained our website and training. They were asking us how we were able to ignore what the antis were saying and doing. We explained about “the thousand-yard stare”, non-engagement and daydreaming about what we needed to do later in the day.

Sometimes the antis present on the sidewalk are our best tool for recruiting escorts.

Saturday Stories {2/23/13}

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IMG_2104What is that??  Is it… IMG_2103

Yes!  It’s a gift bag!  But – what is it doing on the ground on the corner of First and Market, apparently abandoned?

Thst’s what I was wondering, me and one of the other escorts.  I knew one of the antis had brought it – I’d seen it over her arm, like a purse, and thought maybe it was someone’s birthday.  But now -

- here it is – left on the corner.  So I’m mostly kidding when I say maybe we should call the police and report an unattended package.  Mostly kidding.

Besides, it’s in front of Dr. Bizer’s, not the clinic, and I’m pretty sure nobody’s planning on blowing up the eye doctor’s office.

Then there are some antis standing around – they don’t touch the bag, but they must have heard us chatting about it.   A few minutes later Paul – you remember Paul?  Big guy in the leather jacket, he was in the last video I posted.  Anyhow Paul comes up behind me and leans in close to say,

“It’s a gift.  For the baby.”

It takes a second for the words to register – a what? oh, yeah, and then he adds, speaking clearly and distinctly, almost in my ear, “She brings it for the baby.  It has a binky in it.”

I don’t respond to his words and wait til he moves back away to giggle.  Good grief.  A binky for the baby.  I may not be a medical professional, but i’m pretty sure fetuses don’t use “binkys.”  But whatever.

It was a fairly calm morning, down where I was anyhow.  There was only one incident that stands out – well, you know, aside from the gift for “the baby.”  {Which, btw, I don’t think she ever gives anyone – I think it’s just for show.}

But there was a couple who were headed for the clinic, the woman didn’t speak much English, and I don’t know if the companion did or not, cause he fell behind and started talking to one of the antis.  Then they stopped, and the woman and I stop and she turns around, looking for the companion.

The anti beside him says to me, “They’re going to walk with us the rest of the way, so you can just step back and leave them alone.  They want to see the ultrasound.  You just need to leave them alone and quit bothering them.  They’re walking in with us.”

I’m never sure what to do then.   Escorts and antis and the client and the companion ~ we’re all sort of bunched up together, and several people are talking at once, and of course I’m fine with them going to the anti-clinic as long as that’s what she wants to do, but she hasn’t indicated that’s what she wants, but the companion is leading her that way and of course the antis are watching me, and I don’t want her to go to the abortion clinic if she doesn’t want to but I’m not sure she understands what’s happening, or even if the companion does.  As they walk away, she turns back and looks at me, and I say,

“Did you want to go to the doctor today?”

And she says, very firmly, “Yes.”

I shake my head and I say, “That’s not the doctor.  They’re not taking you to the doctor.”

But the companion and the antis are moving on, and she follows, and all I can do is shrug.   Unlike the protesters, I won’t chase her down, not even to make sure she understands what’s happening.

The antis are thrilled, they’ll claim this as a victory, and I don’t care.  I don’t think they understand – I don’t WANT her to HAVE an abortion.  I want her to do what’s right for her, what she wants to do.

So all I can do is shrug – and hope.  Hope that she ends up being where she wants to be and doing what’s best for her, whatever that may be.