Tag Archives: judgment

Sidewalk Snippet ~ {4/15/13}

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The companion and client pulled to the curb in front of the clinic before 7a. We talked awhile about orange vests, protesters and parking options. They decided to remain parked where they were since it was close.

When I moved to the clinic door after talking to them, D decided to stand one foot away from me and stare at me. She wasn’t talking to me and I wasn’t talking to her or looking at her. She continued to stare for about 5 minutes and only stopped when another escort came to join me. That pretty much set the tone for the day. The antis were aggressive and there were enough of them to swarm around each client entering the clinic.

We were able to escort this client and companion with minimum interference when the doors opened. The companion repeatedly told D and the other antis near the door to leave them alone, but of course this was ignored.

When most of the clients were in the clinic, the anti we call “Screaming Preacher” showed up to shout at the clinic windows. He always says the same things: you are sinning, you are murdering, let me adopt your baby, I want to pray with you. We call him Screaming Preacher because he is so loud he never needs amplification to be heard down the street. The clients can hear him while they are in the waiting room, but they cannot always hear his words. They just know someone is harassing them by screaming about his views on what it means to be a Christian..

The companion came out of the clinic after 8a and just stood by the door staring at him. She did say, “You need to be quiet,” and then moved towards their car. As I walked to the car with her she said, “I am trying to be polite about unsolicited opinions. They can hear him in the waiting room. These people (gesturing towards the antis) don’t need to be here. They aren’t helping. This decision is hard enough, we don’t need people giving their opinion of what is right.”

I let her know there was nothing personal in the antis’ words. “We hear the same thing said every day to every client. They don’t know you. I agree they shouldn’t be here, but we cannot prevent them from saying hurtful things. They will be gone soon. When we leave they only stay a few more minutes. We are leaving now and most of them should be gone right away.”

She just shook her head and said, “Thank you for being here. I just wish they weren’t here too.”

All I could do is agree.

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REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

 

 

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First Time Escort – by Tom

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My wife has been a clinic escort for over a year. She has helped with new escort training several times, and she discusses with me her experiences as a clinic escort, telling me how various “regulars” among the anti-abortion crowd act and react and how escorts, clients, and client companions manage themselves in what can be a tense environment.

In our discussions, I find that my first reactions to envisioned scenarios are sometimes good, and sometimes not so effective, in light of the primary mission in the Points of Unity the escorts agree to follow: It’s not about escalating. It’s not even about me, or any escort or anti-abortion protester. It’s about providing the space for clients to follow their decision through, with the underlying assumption being that clients have considered their options well enough to make their own decision. The hows and whys of their decision, just like the decision itself, is their own business, to be shared only with people they trust.

Of course, this also means that to focus on the clients, there is no time or space to judge the protesters. They have their own reasons for being there, most often based in their religious belief systems. That I do not share the specifics of their belief hierarchy is irrelevant. They are still people. As discussed later this morning, if calamity were to strike, I would do what I could to help them.

But I digress. Often. You’ve been warned.

I know myself well enough to realize that I would have to be VERY careful if I were to volunteer on the sidewalk. I am too ready to escalate in general. Even so, I have wanted to be there, to see first-hand the intensity, the individuals I hear of by nickname and actions only, and to help.

So, this morning, I went. It’s Easter weekend, a time crucial to the central belief of many Christians, so it was expected that there would be extra and extra-loud anti-abortionists on hand. As it turns out, the call went out via many electronic avenues, and we had students from the University of Louisville Medical School, other college students, and many other folks come out to wear orange vests. I don’t know how many orange vests were in use—one count was in the upper forties, and more people came afterward. I’ve seen posts claiming that sixty or more escorts were on hand—a reality commented upon by a couple of the anti-abortionists, who may or may not have cared that I heard them claiming to each other that our huge turnout was an indication of our concern over the power of their message. Delusions abound.

With all that extra staffing, we had the luxury of posting several volunteers across the entryway to the clinic. We were a moveable wall—tasked with keeping antis from blocking access to the clinic building, moving out of the way when clients and client companions arrived.

It was pretty easy duty, really. Stand there and let the preachers preach, let the antis spew their religious silliness. At times, move aside to allow passage by clients, client companions, and an occasional escort.

Yes, I was more than once reminded of scenes in movies in which drill instructors yell at recruits during boot camp, with the recruits required to stand at attention and all but ignore the verbal abuse. Some of the antis even tried to shame us, speaking derisively of our humanness, calling us names, telling us that their god was going to punish us for our wicked evil abetting of the abortion mill. And then in the next breath telling us that if we confess to their god, and ask forgiveness, we could enter heaven after all. Such hypocrisy. Such ludicrousness.

A couple years ago, I read the book, The God Virus: How Religion Infects Our Lives and Culture, by Darrel W. Ray. The base premise of the book is that an apt metaphor for religion is found in the study of virology. Others have used the expression “thought virus” to describe other applications of the analogy, and I find the expression apt. The idea is that once a thought virus gets into one’s head, it’s exceedingly difficult for a thought counter to the original to take root. It’s hard for someone indoctrinated in religion to see an atheistic viewpoint as even being an acceptable alternative to belief in his or her god. Scripture makes use of this, even without formally recognizing it, when it has passages that demonize those of us who don’t believe.

Of course, it could be viewed in reverse: Those of us who have been “inoculated” against the virus don’t get absorbed into it. Speaking from personal experience, I simply find the reliance on the religious person’s god to be speaking of some imaginary friend, like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. It’s hard for me to imagine believing in what seems horrendously illogical to me. The hubris in saying that no matter what our sins, the Christian God will forgive if we but ask is astonishing to me. That some sidewalk preacher dares to condemn me to his version of hell, not having any idea who I am or what I do is an insult. It’s meant to bother me.

But, because I have the secret weapon of knowledge of the concept of thought viruses, I am able to let his vitriol go on by me. I am able to focus on keeping my place, keeping my awareness on my surroundings so that I can alert my colleagues that clients are coming our way and that we need to be ready to make room for them to pass into the building.

A couple hours after things settled down, after the group breakfast, after some errand-running with another escort to collect her bicycle, and after starting to type out my thoughts, I realized that the antis were giving me a lot of power over themselves. Because I was able to let their words go by me without effect, they got angrier and more strident in their word choices.By giving me this power, they in effect empowered me to be a better volunteer, and do a better job for the clients and their companions.

I say this because one in particular spent some time in front of a group of us, deriding us, mocking us, telling us we must have been “real men” to stand up to a woman haranguing clients in front of an “abortion mill.” He went on and on, talking about how he imagined us being really proud that we were abetting the killing of babies and all the guilt-trip words he added to that. We mostly ignored him, until he called us weasels. One of our group piped up with “Can I be an otter instead?” which prompted me to chime in with “I’ll be a ferret! People treat pet ferrets quite well!” The guy walked away, disgusted that he couldn’t upset us. He came back a couple times, trying again to shame us, without success. He gave us the power to disgust him with our indifference to his snide remarks. Again and again.

Other of their ilk preached for a bit at us, or more accurately, at each other for my amusement, then moved on to preach at other vaguely-human forms wearing orange vests or clients or anyone who would listen.

A snippet, because I enjoyed seeing it happen: At one point, a fellow escort was standing beside me, and one of the more vocal preachers was haranguing people who had walked into the building. Because the preacher’s words were having less than the desired effect, he focused his attention on my fellow escort, who was at times smirking at the lunacy of the vitriol. “You mock me! You dare to mock me as I speak the word of God! You dare to mock me!” the preacher shouted.

The escort’s response? Indifference, in the main. An occasional chuckle. He removed his glasses to clean the spittle from them, put there by the preacher as he shouted his anger at having a less-than-desired effect on the escort’s mien. My fellow escort and I chuckled to each other soon after the preacher’s departure.

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REMINDER: If you are interested in escorting, don’t forget the training on Saturday, April 13th at 9A.  Training is not required, but it’s helpful. Please see our Trainings for Escorts page or email us for additional information

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REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

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Little Lies

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I want to start by stating the obvious: there are wide divisions between antis and escorts in our beliefs. Escorts believe in a person’s choice for abortion. Antis believe no one should choose abortion ever. Escorts believe in not making judgments about people they meet at the clinic. Antis judge everyone on the sidewalk. Escorts believe in telling the truth to clients and companions. Antis lie about almost everything in order to coerce clients into their CPC.

This story may seem frivolous or petty. I admit I think it is on one level. It does point out the wide gulf between  the escorts and antis on even small, everyday situations.

There were only two escorts to begin this day and about 9 protesters. When we got out of our cars as the first clients arrived, the other escort started to the $3 lot and I talked to a client at the curb. While walking to a second car pulling to the curb, I saw a glove on the sidewalk. Not knowing who of the many people on the sidewalk it belonged to, I carefully draped it on the rim of a wrought iron cage for a trash receptacle near where I found it; about 30 feet from the clinic door. It was in plain sight there and would not get dirty. I saw D stand directly in front of the cage for the trash receptacle for a full minute, looking down at the spot where I had placed the glove, before moving to one of the cars I had just spoken to.

The first clients had been approached and more escorts showed up when the first escort told me they had lost their glove. Delighted I had found it, I told her what I had done with it. When we checked, the glove was gone. It wasn’t in the trash. It was just gone.

I told the escort I had seen D look at the glove and suggested maybe she picked it up. The escort asked D if she found a glove. The answer was, “No, I didn’t see a glove.” About 5 minutes later, the glove turned up. It was draped on top of the fire hydrant directly in front of the clinic doors.

I cannot prove D placed it there since I didn’t see her do it, but proximity to both sites the glove was draped seem to circumstantially indicate she saw it, picked it up, and then placed it somewhere else we were sure to see.

Lying seems to be so automatic with D that even a simple non-confrontational question is met with a lie, even when the truth would not cause any controversy. “Yes, I saw a glove on the trash container,” or “Yes, I found a glove. Is this yours?” No real need to get in a long discussion with an escort, but her first response was to just lie.

I thought of all the times when we have found things dropped by antis on the sidewalk and made an effort to return it to them. We have even given D hand warmers she has dropped.

What motivates someone to tell lies about little things? Is it justified because we are “evil deathscorts”? Is there any way we could believe D on any comment she makes? I confess, if she told me the sky was blue, I would look up to verify it.

Escorts are not saints. We come from diverse backgrounds and have diverse personalities. What we do have in common is that we are people trying to do the best we can to make a space for clients to go to the doctor. We have our Points of Unity to guide us and try to follow them. One of the points is about being honest and transparent.

I wonder if we could get the antis to agree on Points of Unity for their sidewalk protests. Honesty, transparency, de-escalating? Yes, I know I am dreaming.

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You too can be an escort!!

Come to the training Saturday, April 13!!

9 a.m. ~ breakfast and good times.

Training is not required, but it’s helpful. Please see our Trainings for Escorts page or email us for additional information.

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

 

 

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All Except For Mine

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“ I don’t know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They’re more important than sex.” – From the movie “The Big Chill” (1983)

I am reminded of this quote frequently when I escort. It will be called to mind by things the antis say/yell to clients or sometimes things the client says. This day the quote was readily called to mind.

The car pulled to the curb early. I approached the car and asked, “Are you going to the abortion clinic this morning?” The client replied, “Yes. I don’t believe in abortion, but my situation is different. I would never get an abortion unless I had to. I don’t think it is right.” I replied, “Well everyone has to reach their own decision. No one but you knows what brings you here today.”

I went on to explain about escorts wearing orange vests, when the doors opened, and what their parking options were. As I left the car, I advised them protesters might approach their car and talk to them or hand them pamphlets. The client responded, “I don’t care. I agree with them. I can explain to them why I need this abortion.”

As I left the car, I was reminded (not for the first time) of Joyce Arthur’s article “The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion.” This is probably one of the most-shared articles about abortion because it spells out this attitude exactly. Rationalization among anti-abortion advocates until their pregnancy presents a need for an exception to apply in their case.

Before the doors opened, D spent some time talking to this client through their car window. They did eventually roll their window up and stopped talking. When we escorted the client to the door, D also stayed away from this client and did not engage with them during the walk.

I wonder if D accepted the explanation from the client as being a valid reason for abortion. If past history is any indication, she didn’t.

No details of why are really heard by the protesters.

Where Are We Going?

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“I have been coming here for 25 years. I know what I am talking about.”

This was screamed at the clinic doors by R trying to convince clients to come talk to him. Twenty-five years is a long time to devote one or more mornings a week to bullying, shaming and harassing clients because they did not make the decision you believe is right. That time commitment goes beyond a belief and drifts into a lifetime vocation of being a bully; a lifetime vocation of hating women; a lifetime vocation of wanting to control another’s choices about their body.

He is not alone. A lot of the antis have been coming out to harass clients and their companions for 20-plus years. Some come out almost every day the clinic is open; week after week; year after year.

I have thought of this dedication to control another person’s health care decisions as more and more anti-abortion legislation is proposed and passed by different states. It seems that every day brings another proposed bill: TRAP laws designed to close clinics; mandatory ultrasounds for all abortion procedures including RU-486 medication abortions; mandatory in-person counseling; waiting periods lengthened to exclude holidays and weekends; banning abortion after 20 weeks or in Kentucky at 6 weeks. (See IN Senate Bill 371; KY Senate Bill 4; KY Senate Bill 5, KY House Bill 132;  SD House Bill 1237, ND House Bill 1456) There is even a new flurry of bills regulating miscarriages and personhood agendas that would put women in prison for “killing” a fertilized egg. The one bright light in this flurry of anti-abortion legislation is New York’s movement to ease abortion restrictions.

We definitely know the chipping away of Roe vs Wade by state legislators will not eradicate the need for abortion. If the extremists are successful in shutting down most of the clinics in the country it will force a lot of people to go back to the pre-Roe vs Wade days of illegal abortions. Only those with financial resources or luckily living in states with less restrictions will have access to abortion.

There was a really thoughtful article published by Betsy Phillips in January about abortion access in Tennessee. It addresses the comments that people can just go someplace else for their abortion.

  • The funny/terrible part is that here in Tennessee I have had politicians and their staffs tell me to my face on several occasions that they can’t understand why I’m so worked up about abortion rights, after all women who “really need” them can go to Atlanta, even if they’re impossible to get here.

Her article is one that I keep coming back to in my mind because I hear the same thing: they can just go to another state where abortion is still legal. Everyone can just travel to New York. What happens if they cannot afford to travel, take time off work, arrange childcare, and jump the various state restrictions they will face? How many people needing abortions will seek dangerous solutions?

And now we are back to the beginning of this article. What will these extremists focus on next if they are successful in shutting down abortion clinics around the country? Where will they expend their energies to bully and harass? Will they move their operations to New York? Will it be demonstrating in front of OB/Gyn offices who prescribe contraception? Will it be pharmacies that fill prescriptions for contraception? Will it just be protesting in front of any healthcare facility? Will it be in front of religious or atheist meeting places that don’t conform to their brand of Christianity? Will it be some other place or cause in their attempts to control people’s lives?

Where are we going to go from here? Where are they going to go next?

Questions that Aren’t Really Questions

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Servalbear recently wrote about our excellent experience with Jobstr, and the high quality of questions asked, which you can read about here if you missed it the first time.  By the time she wrote about it, the first flurry of questions had died down, but her post unleashed a whole new run of questions.

Jobstr had been very clear from the beginning that if we got questions we thought were inappropriate or insincere, we could delete them.  So that’s what we did with this first one of the new batch:

Q: “Adults Vs. unborn children! Don’t you think that your job is a clear example of legalized injustice?”

Of course, we could have answered it instead of deleting it.  If we had, it might have looked like this:

A:  No, we don’t think that escorting is an example of legalized injustice.

We soon realized that the Jobstr site had been linked to a column by a national pro-life blogger.  I won’t link to her here ~ email us if you have a pressing need to find her column.

We answered some of the questions they sent ~ the ones that could actually be considered questions ~ and deleted a number.  But the ones we deleted began to amuse me, and I can’t resist answering them here.

Q: “Do you ever feel like a Nazi soldier….leading a person to their demise?”

A:  No, never.

That was certainly a straight-forward question, and easily answered.  Next?

Q: “Would you have helped walk me into a clinic 10 years ago if I’d opted to have my daughter killed in an abortion during my experience with crisis pregnancy? If so-and abortion is really all about “women’s rights”-where were hers?”

A:  Yes, of course we would have walked with you.  The fetus that eventually became your daughter didn’t actually have any rights at that point ~ she was a potential person, not an actual person.

 

The easy answers here are the straight-forward ones.  No, I don’t feel like a Nazi.  Yes, we would have walked with you.  The sub-context of the question is more interesting.

I think she’s implying that if we had walked with her to have an abortion, it would have been a terrible, awful, evil because her daughter would not have been born.  But that choice was hers; whether or not we would have walked with her is irrelevant.  That is the whole point of the slogan “Trust Women.”

The further implication, I think, is “I chose not to have an abortion, and that worked out well for me, so all women should make the same choice.”  I will let you make your own logical analogies to that.

Q: “Do images of dead babies and mangled fetuses haunt your dreams? If, in the next life, you meet the killed pre-born children, what do you think you will say to them? And visa versa?”

A:  No, they don’t.  If in the next life I meet a fetus that had been aborted, I guess I would say “Hi.”  I mean, what else could I say?   I don’t think that’s likely to happen, but if it did, I think the fetus would thank me for being with the woman who chose to release them to heaven when those protesters were out there harassing her and making it more difficult for her.

I think this person has some mental image of dead, un-born babies rising up to meet me at the pearly gates, confronting me with my evil ways, and laughing as God sends me down to the depths of hell for being a baby-killer.  You know, I just don’t think that’s going to happen ~ don’t think it on so many levels that it doesn’t even make my list of things to worry about.

Q: “You answered to Sarah ” If they decide to talk to the protesters, it is their decision and we will not interfere.” That is not true. I have witnessed time and again escorts elbowing the folks trying to give pamphlets. What do you say?”

A:  What you’ve witnessed is protesters stepping into our personal space and trying to go through us to shove a pamphlet in the woman’s face after she’s asked us to walk with her, and often while she’s saying, “No,” or “No, thanks,” or “Get away from me,” or some such indication that she does not want the material.  I can see where that would be confusing to you,  I suppose.

And finally:

Q: “I’ve heard that women can become distressed/emotional when leaving the abortion clinic after the procedure is completed. Do clinic escorts also offer encouragement to exiting patients?”

This might sound like a straight-forward question too, but when we got it, Servalbear had already answered the question about whether we’re there when clients leave.  In fact, she answered it twice.  So obviously a simple, “No, we leave when the protesters do,” was not answer enough.  Really, the rest of the answer to this particular non-question is something like this:

A:  No, escorts don’t provide post-abortion counseling or support.  Some clients do experience distress post-abortion, or have feelings about the abortion, and may be referred to Backline or Exhale for support.   Often, at abortion speak-outs, we discover that women have felt distressed about the circumstances that led to the abortion, or even about their experience entering the clinic, rather than with their decision to have an abortion.

But, as I’ve mentioned before here, this is another reminder for me to continue working on a more complete referral list for support post-abortion.

I think maybe this post is just an exercise in indulgence for me ~ I just had an urge to share their non-questions ~ these accusations with a question mark at the end.  Just one more reminder of the real distance between us on the sidewalk.

My First Day Escorting ~ by Anonymous

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The morning was cold and dark and I was nervous. My partner had been escorting for a few weeks by this time so I had heard some stories, learned some names and I hoped that would help calm me. Then we parked and I saw the number of protesters lining the sidewalk and I knew calm was too much to hope for.

I don’t do well in confrontation, my heart races and I feel shaky and I shut down a bit, so I was very relieved to learn that all I had to do was stand and open the door for clients. I thought I could handle that easily; then a street preacher mounted his box. He was speaking at the top of his voice about god and judgment and the blood of the innocent.

It seemed to agitate people. The protesters started moving around and whispering to each other, the prayer line started chanting ‘Hail Mary’s’ and my heart started racing. In a way the cold helped me because I could hide behind my hat and gloves and scarf, but goodness he was loud and I honestly wasn’t sure this was something I could do.

Then I recognized the preacher’s voice and I stole a glance at him to confirm (I was working really hard not to look at anybody before that). This was the same man who preached and protested at the Zombie Walk for at least the past two years because, I guess next to homosexuals and abortion god hates zombies most. . . or maybe he loves them and hates our mockery of them, I really don’t know the logic. I found his presence at the Zombie Walk ridiculous and that gave me the space to think of his presence on the sidewalk in the same light. I laughed a bit, and with that the anxiety seemed to wash away.

I reluctantly admit I had fun that day. Once I opened my eyes to the absurdity of the preacher I saw it everywhere. The preaching, the dubious “facts”, the pleas that sounded a lot like insults. How could anyone say these things and expect to be taken seriously? Expect to change someone’s mind? Expect to be called on for counsel? It was like the protesters were performing a farce just for me.

When we left to meet everyone for breakfast I was practically giddy, until I heard how horrible the day was for others. Since I was only manning the door I was sheltered from the physical and emotional bullying tactics faced when you walk with a client. I had dealt with this for one single morning, while these wonderful people had been slogging through the muck for months and years. I left breakfast feeling selfish and shallow. How could I find humor when people were hurting?

It took me some days and a few more mornings escorting to realize my reaction was alright. I know my stressful, horrible days are coming. I think that’s inevitable when you do something like this. I’m only human.

Each escort has to find their way to cope on the sidewalk and I’m very lucky that I found out early that my love of the absurd and my sarcastic inner voice are going to help me. They are what I will fall back on when the morning seems especially dark.

I Am Not A Protester ~ by Amanda

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Before I start, here are the four ways Merriam-Webster defines the word “protest”: 1) a solemn declaration of opinion and usually of dissent; 2) the act of objecting or a gesture of disapproval (usually organized public demonstration of disapproval) 3) a complaint, objection, or display of unwillingness usually to an idea or a course of action 4) an objection made to an official or a governing body of a sport.

Now, why did I define “protest”? Well, today on the sidewalk, two different antis tried to engage me. One person who tried to engage with me was a woman from the AWC, who I have never seen on the sidewalk before, and another person was NB. It was the encounter with the woman from the AWC that stuck with me all day so far.

I was taught as a child that if you make eye contact or someone smiles at you, you smile at them. That is a way to be polite, and I have a hard time getting out of the habit while I am on the sidewalk. My concern is that if I stop doing it there, I won’t show that form of politeness in the rest of my life. So the woman from the AWC smiled at me, I smiled back. At one point in the morning, I end up standing next to her.

I was standing there for a little while, and she said “Good morning,” and being compulsive in my politeness (thank you mom and dad), I said good morning back. I thought, being silly and naïve, that it would be the end of it. However, if you give them an inch, they will take a mile. She asked me the question, “So, what brings you here this morning?” Something clicked when she said that, and I realized if I were to answer that question we would get into a “discussion” where she would try to convince me that I am wrong and an idiot for doing what I am doing. I wasn’t going there with her. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of me losing my cool when we try to “discuss” it with one another.

My reply back to her was “I don’t talk to protesters. Sorry.” And her response just confirmed why I didn’t engage with her. She said, “I am not a protester. I am a human being… who loves children.” I lost my temper. I didn’t say a word to her, but I felt my blood boil, because I thought: Right because if you are all of those things, I, however, am not a human being. I actually hate children and I am a heathen for not following the word of your Lord and Savior. None of those things are true off course. I am a human being, I am not a heathen, and I love children.

Fortunately, I just walked away, but I was angry at her implication. It wasn’t exactly what she said, but how she said it. When I thought about it for a second, though, my mind was mauling over not the “I am a human being who loves children” part of her response, but the first part. “I am not a protester.” That is why I defined the term protest. WE, the escorts, aren’t protestors. We aren’t there to sway anyone to believe one way or another. We are there to provide support. What the decision is of the client is none of our business. Neither is why she is doing it. All that matters is that we are there to support them in THEIR decisions. That’s it. That’s different from what people like NB and the woman from the AWC are doing. They are there, as a group, in public, to take an action demonstrating disapproval (see definition two of “protest”). They are trying to convince the clients that their decisions are wrong, sinful, stupid, and ridiculous. We are not even there to say their decision is right or wrong. We are there on the sidewalk to support them in THEIR decisions.

That’s why we ask if they want us to walk with them. We don’t hound them. We don’t shove things in their faces, and we don’t follow them when they don’t want to be followed. We aren’t there to protest for or against anything. When that woman from the AWC said, “I am not a protestor,” she was lying or she didn’t know the definition of protest, because she is protesting by its very definition.

Where Do I Park?

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The client and companion pulled into the drop-off zone to ask where to park. It was about 30 minutes before the doors of the clinic normally open. We discussed options and I gave them directions to the $3 parking lot. Before I moved away from the car, I warned them about the antis not wearing orange vests and that they may approach them to talk and give out literature.

They were starting to pull over to the lot when D approached their car. She was talking to them when I re-approached the car to let them know she was a protester. D turned to me and said, “You are so rude. You had your turn to talk to them. Now it is my turn. You say you are pro-choice. They need to know their choices.” Since I had said what I needed to let them know, I  backed off and let her talk.

Escorts watched as the car drove down the street and turned the corner, bypassing the public parking lot. I alerted another escort to the fact they might have been diverted to the AWC lot by D. This is a common tactic we see. They offer free parking in their lot, but it comes with a lot of talking about the “right choice.” It is usually easier to pay for parking than hear the words meant to shame and coerce clients into their clinic.

The other escort was able to stop them just before they parked in the AWC lot. The companion told the escort the woman (meaning D) said they would have to pay for an ultrasound at EMW, but they could get it from AWC free. When it was explained to them that they didn’t have to pay extra for the ultrasound at EMW*, the free ultrasound performed at AWC would not be accepted by EMW* and they would just have to have another one, and AWC was an anti-abortion clinic, they parked their car in the public lot as originally planned.

D arrived at the AWC parking lot just as the client and companion were pulling away. She approached the other escort and asked, “If you die tonight, do you know where you are going?”

The companion was really upset when I went over to help them with the payment box. We discussed what had happened to them. They were mad they were lied to by D. I explained we cannot control what the antis say, but agreed it was frustrating.

As I was leaving, I warned them about the antis approaching their car even in the parking lot and suggested they did not need to roll their windows down if they didn’t want to. I told them we would come get them when the clinic doors opened.  Sure enough, shortly after I left the lot four antis surrounded their car trying to get them to roll their windows down. The antis began sticking literature on their windshield without permission.

The companion called the police to report their harassment. Two squad cars arrived within minutes and spoke to the antis. The four antis moved to the corner of the lot and stayed away from the car after their conversation with the officers. We did not hear what was said, but we were able to escort the client and companion without further incident.

When I went into the lobby of the clinic a short while after they entered, the companion asked me why the protesters were allowed to go right up to clients. “There should be a distance they have to stay away. This isn’t right.” I agreed and explained there was no bubble/buffer zone in Louisville. The companion expressed their anger over the whole situation.

I have to agree, lying, shaming, judging and harassment from the antis just makes the day more difficult than it has to be for everyone.

*The ultrasound at EMW is included in the procedure fees. There is no association between EMW and AWC. A procedure done at AWC will not generate a discounted fee from EMW. It will just cause the client to have duplicate procedures.

Fewer Antis

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The last weekend in January was a pretty calm one for abortion clinics around the country. The annual anti-abortion March for Life protest, normally held on the anniversary of the Roe v Wade decision, was moved to Friday the 25th. Most of our regular antis were in Washington or on the way home instead of harassing clients on the sidewalk in Louisville. We heard from other clinics around the country who saw the same thinning in the numbers of antis. One clinic even reported no one showed up to protest. Not one anti; the embodiment of wishes coming true.

The antis who were here in Louisville did their best to make up for their lack of numbers with volume. Standing by the door of the clinic, we had a small choral group singing hymns where the soapbox preachers usually set up. Who doesn’t want to hear an off-tune rendition of a hymn when they enter a medical facility?

We had three antis taking turns yelling at the door and window of the clinic.  “You cannot drown out the voice of God. He is calling you to stop and turn from this sin.” “We know this isn’t an easy thing. That’s why we are here. We want to care for you. We want to help you. We want to invite you into our homes.” “Everyone here today has sinned. We pray you see the light. If not, you are going to hell.” “What you are doing is murder. If you went down to the maternity ward of the local hospital and someone was going room to room cutting up babies, you would think that was awful. Well, that is what is going on here today.” What was going on at the clinic was shaming and harassment.

This is what it was like.*

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Interesting things happen when there are fewer antis on the sidewalk. There is a competitive air among them to be the loudest and most sincere sounding. Any client arriving at the doors is instantly surrounded by a group. Sometimes this really works against them.

There was a faked intervention staged on the sidewalk. They took great pains to disguise their purpose, but the cameraman walking backwards and filming raised suspicions at least in the escorts. A woman walking to the clinic had a camera documenting her steps and interactions with the people on the sidewalk. With tears in her eyes, she allowed herself to be led away from the clinic door by a couple of antis. In fact, she had a whole group of antis surrounding her and pulling on her arms. There were no escorts around her. She had waved us away and we went. That competitive spirit of the antis to intervene undid a lot of the work put into faking the walk. We are not sure what they were trying to accomplish, but antis interfered with them so many times they were a slow moving crowd of people by the time the woman reached the entrance to the clinic. Escorts did not interfere and were just observing. It pretty well nullified the “evil escort” trope. Of course, with judicious editing it could be made to appear otherwise.

When she and the people with her were leaving, they told another escort they were making “just a film.” The escort took photos of them and gave the information to the clinic. Of course, when the escort took pictures they took pictures of the escort taking pictures of them. Photo standoffs are common on the sidewalk. It was definitely a photo opportunity day with many cameras and cell phones documenting both sides.

We didn’t have as many protesters out and few of the regular ones we write about all of the time, but it was far from just another Saturday. I found myself envious of the clinic with no antis present.

* Thank you to escort J for capturing this video.