They greeted each escort as we arrived, but continued circling. I counted and in a five-minute period they reached their starting point 6 times. Power walking for harassment. This particular group always reminds of a school of sharks. They all dress in dark clothing and are in constant motion.

The other antis divided their time between praying at the clinic windows, preaching at the clinic windows, or talking to clients in the parking lot and on their walk up the sidewalk.

It would intimidate me to face a group of men determined to interrupt my trip for needed healthcare. That’s the purpose.

Father’s Day is coming soon, but it just doesn’t have the same impact as Mother’s Day for the protesters.

We’ve moved deep into spring and are headed for summer, which makes my Saturday mornings more pleasant .  I’m not a fan of winter ~ in fact, escorting is the first and only thing I’ve done voluntarily that requires being outside when it’s cold.  But the seasons of escorting come and go…  and there are always stories to tell.

Servalbear and I made a neat discovery on the blog – we mentioned we’ve been getting comments from one of the protesters over and over, right?  Well, guess what!  We can mark them as spam a few times, and they start going to spam automatically.  We don’t even have to read them anymore.  Just delete them, along with the typical other junky spam.  Makes me feel like Batman, Caped Crusader ~ Bif!  Bam!!  Take that, pesky protester!**

And there’s this story ~ the escorts know this one, but I don’t think I’ve told it here.  For a long time, one group of the protesters didn’t know my name.   My vest has a name on it ~ my daughter’s, because it used to be hers back when she was an escort.  I call it my heirloom vest.   So they figured out that wasn’t my name, but they didn’t know what it was.

Then for a long time, they thought my name was Frances.   There once was an escort named Frances, but it’s not me.  One day, I ran into one of this group of protesters outside the clinic, at a public event.  She was with someone I didn’t recognize, and as she walks by, I hear her say to the other woman “there’s one of those deathscorts.”  I just smile.

Later, we come face to face, and she says to her friend, “This is…” ~ like she’s going to introduce me ~ and to me, “What is your name?  I know it’s not Frances.”

And I say, “That’s right ~ it’s Not Frances.”  And that stuck for a long time.  The escorts started calling me “Not Frances,” and it was an amusing game.  Kinda like Rumplestiltskin, right?

Recently, they figured out what my name is, and have begun using it ~ under their breath at first, with more certainty now.  Clearly, they’ve googled me, and they reference things they’ve learned about me, with a hiss, and a touch of venom.  I just smile. Fortunately, I’m NOT actually Rumplestiltskin, and the name thing was just a game.  I don’t care if they know who I am ~ I don’t have to hide being an escort.   Their efforts miss the mark.  It doesn’t matter at all.

But mostly we settle back into the mundane, after Mother’s Day.  Sometimes I get a bit tired of blogging.  You know, it starts to seem so repetitive on the sidewalk.  The protesters scream “dead baby, dead baby” and I blog “mean protesters, mean protesters,” and really, how does that help anything?

Then I hear a story like this:

Two women get to the clinic, and jump out of the car.  The escort approaches and says, “The clinic doors aren’t open yet, and there are a few protesters here, if you like, you can wait in the car and we’ll let you know when the doors open.

The two young women look at each other and smile.  One of them says, “Oh, we aren’t worried about them.”  The other one adds, “We’ve been reading your blog and practicing what we’re going to say to them!  They won’t bother us at all.”  Still smiling, they walk to the door, unfazed by the chasers around them.

THAT is why I keep doing this.   Helping people find ways to push back against the stigma and shame on the sidewalk ~ that’s what this is about.

**  NOTE:  No protesters were harmed in the writing of this blog, and I do not endorse violence in any form, on or off the sidewalk.

But, back to pledge-a-picketer, and specifically my experience with counting the anti’s on this special day…

on the large protest days we see many many antis that are not usually on the sidewalk. The protesters turn these days into family events and bring their little gaggles of kiddos to stand around in the wee hours of the morning. It saddens me (as a childcare professional, and auntie to many little ones) to watch these kids wiggle and bounce as they try to stave off boredom and be “good children” while their grownups use them as political tools to shame the clients who are making the best decision they can for their own families. I try to smile at the kids, but after 13 years of this, I have stopped trying to imagine the things that their grownups tell them about the escorts, and the people going into the clinic.

So, on Pledge a Picketer day, there are a few key moments that we pay attention to. The crowd starts gathering close to 6:30am, and is largely in place by 7, though protesters trickle in for the next 15 minute or so. Clients usually start showing up about ten til 7 (we encourage them to wait in their cars, but they can stand outside the doors if they really want to). The most anticipated moment is when the doors to the clinic open, usually about 7:15. This moment is followed by 10-20 minutes of extreme chaos where floating escorts signal each other and the clients and companions waiting in cars that the door is open and if they are ready, it is time to walk. The chaos emanates from the chasers (floating protesters) and the prayer gauntlet, which on days like this one stretches 2/3rds of the length of the long city block. Escorts strategize paths of least resistance, but the antis do their best to block our paths, and the unavoidable area in front of the door is always congested and aggressive.

That intense 20 minute period is when everyone spends their adrenaline for the morning. Once the client rush slows down, a number of us have the thought that it’s about time to start counting. This is a humorous process for a number of reasons (to me anyway).

This is where I admit that our counting process is anything but advanced, or even accurate. I ask 3-4 other floating escorts to count at the same time that I do. A few of us will count more than once, and we take the highest number (y’all are cool with that, right?)

Now, it’s really tricky to count them, as they move around a lot, and some sort of hide, like the guy who drives his flatbed trailer with the anti abortion billboard on it, but then he sits in his truck the whole time. Make sure to count him for sure. We also joke about how Mary and Angela should count as more than one, since they are hyper aggressive and pushy. And how about the fact that Terry isn’t just preaching from his soapbox, but he has a mic and a small PA today. Can we count that as extra too? (nah)

so, as i walk down the line trying to keep count, i also have to try not to react to the things the antis say and do while i count.  some of them clearly know why we’re counting (sometimes we tell them, and for sure some of them read this blog) but some do not.  as i count in my head i point at each person, you know, the way you would when counting a large number of anything.  a few of them wag their finger back at me.  i wonder if they realize how silly they look, and move on down the row.  a few of them try to mess up my count (fifteen, twenty five, three, ten…) and two ladies tell me to be sure to count their angels.  um, no.

of course we count the babies in carriers and strollers, and yes, i count the obviously pregnant ladies for two.  afterall, they are displaying their big bellies as tools of shame, same as they are their toddlers.. and besides, they count them, right? (this is a LIFE!!)   plus, i am that escort who will call a fetus a baby without shame, and still justify termination as a compassionate option, no matter what the reason is.  of course i can’t have that conversation on the sidewalk.  for one thing that would be engaging, which i try to avoid at all, but also the predictable next step (to call me a murderer) crosses the line of trying to argue logically with an illogical person, hence the non-engagement.

so, yeah, counting is interesting, and entertaining for me anyway, but far from scientific.

also interesting is the way that escort attitudes have been changed about these big days by the pledge a picketer drive.  i remember dreading these big protest days, and in a small way, feeling defeated by their massive numbers.  i guess in that sense the shaming was working on me too.

but now, bring it on suckers!   bring the babies in strollers, and the elderly folks that can’t even stand for the hour and a half. this time they didn’t even make the old nun sit in the usual folding chair, they removed a seat from the van so she could be more comfortable.  that’s right, they put an upholstered car seat on the sidewalk.  what’s next, a recliner?

it’s interesting to feel excited as they roll up en mass.  maybe that’s some desensitization creeping back in on me, but i can’t help being glad knowing that for each of them who turns out to shame people, our generous supporters are shelling out extra bucks to increase access in Kentucky (and surrounding states).  these goof balls are effectively raising money that pays for rides to the clinic, language interpretation, escort vests, and even financial assistance for abortions that some clients cannot afford on their own.

So let’s keep it up, friends!

and thanks again to everyone who has donated, and joined us in creating space on the sidewalk for clients to feel empowered, no matter how circus-like if gets out there.

and now, another look at the madness of the morning…

Three hundred and fifteen.

That’s how many protesters there were.  What does that look like?

Yes, that’s a stroller ~ lots of families packed up the babies and came on down.  We’re heading up from 1st Street – the clinic is at the awning off in the distance there.  As we keep walking:

Meanwhile, on the other side of the street, near the $3 parking lot is this:

They used to park this billboard right in front of the clinic, but we make a real effort these days to get there early enough to take up those parking spaces.  One year, we succeeded in leaving him nowhere to park.  That was lovely.

If you’re coming around the corner from the 2nd street side, it looks like this:

Which is not quite as daunting as walking up through the whole gauntlet from 1st Street.  But regardless of which direction you come from, at the door, you’re greeted with this:

An excellent example of fetus porn.  And this:

Yes, the “preacher”in this video chides the escorts for “how they treat the women who come there… patting them on the back…”   But I heard another protester say “the women are dumped out at the curb and the escorts drag them into the clinic,” ~ an interesting interpretation of events.

Watching the video, you can tell a client has come around the corner.  The woman in red springs into action.  ”You don’t have to kill your baby, someone can help you, PEOPLE WANT YOUR CHILD!” she screams.

Something about that creeps me out, it is as if the client has ceased to exist and is purely an incubator.    I might have thought that was the most chilling thing I heard, if I hadn’t heard a mother talking to her son on their way back to their car.

The woman was clearly pregnant.  The little boy was about five, walking beside and slightly in front of her, holding her hand.  I don’t know what he said, but she replied in that extra sweet voice we sometimes use with our children when we know someone’s listening.  She said, “I know!  It is scary!  I don’t know how these people can want to kill little babies.”

All I can do is shake my head.  And hope that when he’s old enough to understand, someone can explain to him why his mother would want to take him around people that she believes want to kill little babies.  Cause I sure don’t get it.

We then explained the orange vests and protesters, and that the protesters would talk to them while they waited, but wouldn’t cross the property line. The client replied, “Oh, I know all about them. I went into their so-called clinic last week by mistake. It was horrible and I missed my appointment. I want to be sure I get in first this time.”  

We explained the $3 parking lot to the companion and let them know we would be there to help them there after we walked the client to the door.

D was right there before we took two steps towards the entrance, telling the client to “just take two minutes to come to A Woman’s Choice. They aren’t open anyway. What harm will it do?” The client replied, “Get away from me. I have already been there and know all about that place. I don’t want you to talk to me.” Of course, D didn’t listen. She continued to talk to the client while they were standing by the door.

Two escorts stayed at the entrance with the client while I went across to the lot to help the companion with the payment box. The companion decided to wait a little while in the warm car before standing by the door.

When I came back to the door, the client was shaking, upset and yelling at D to leave them alone. After I heard her say to D three times, each successively louder, to “Leave me alone,” I told D, “She has asked you to leave her alone three times. Now you are harassing her.” The expected, “I’m not harassing her. I just want her to know her options,” was the response. Then she continued to talk to the client and the client again told her to leave her alone.

I turned to the client and said, “You can call Police Dispatch and report her for harassing you if you want. I’m not sure what they will do, but you can call.” The client indicated they would like to call and I gave them the phone number.

While the client was waiting for the police, the companion also came to the door to wait with the client. I met them halfway down the sidewalk and said, “I’m glad you are here,” while catching them up with what had happened.The client and companion were together by the door while they waited for police response..

Two squad cars came within minutes. D reached the responding officer first and gave her version. When the officer talked to the client they were told D could say anything she wanted to them because of “free speech.”Sigh. Sometimes it works to call the police and sometimes it doesn’t. It all depends on who responds and their views on abortion.

After the officer left, D turned to me and said, “You are just a busybody.” However, D and the other protesters did leave them alone after the conversation with the officer, but this particular client had two unpleasant trips to the clinic. I worry that I contributed to the second unpleasant trip by suggesting they call the police.

Actually, police presence had the antis subdued until the majority of the clients went into the door. After they went in, an anti who regularly prays by the curb noticed it was quiet, picked up the fetal porn poster, and stood at the entrance shouting, “Do you know about Jesus? If you haven’t heard about Jesus you need to.” D actually waved her away after a few minutes.

Politics and your view on abortion should not determine how you interpret harassment. Freedom of speech doesn’t mean others cannot be offended by your speech or they cannot ask you to stop talking to them.

I first heard about the escort group when calls were put out for extra assistance on the day before Easter. My husband and I are very pro-choice, and decided to put our values into action by volunteering as escorts. The email said that you were expected to not engage/argue with the protesters and I figured I could handle it. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect in terms of the number of protesters (or their volume) but figured there might be people holding signs and yelling. My husband and I were given clinic escort vests and a brief rundown – ask people if they want to be escorted, walk at their speed, don’t engage with the protesters, don’t touch the protesters (or they’ll cry “assault!”), keep talking even if it’s just about the weather, to just keep the client’s attention away from the screaming.

In the chaos, I somehow found myself escorting from the $3 lot. (Please know that this is unusual! New escorts typically undergo a lot of shadowing before actually escorting). It was a quick frenzy of jaywalking (at the client’s request), shouting protesters, and emotion. My mind didn’t even have time to process everything that was happening. One protester ran up to me and bumped into me, trying desperately to reach the client. Everything in my mind cried out, “You will not hurt her!” and in a moment of intense (and selfish) need to feel like I could protect the client, I put my arm around her. The client, her face set with determination, yelled back at the protesters. Just as she reached the door, a protester wailed out, “Don’t DO it, darlin’!” and as suddenly as it had began, it was over. The client was inside the clinic.

It was then that I met one of the senior escorts, as she pulled me aside and helped me to realize that I had just broken one of the fundamental Points of Unity – asking the client’s consent (not just to be escorted, but also to be touched). My heart sank. With the panic of the crowd subsiding, I knew she was right. Logically I had known that, but in the chaos of the moment, there is no logic. As my husband and I walked back across the street to the parking lot, I started to get choked up. I hadn’t realized it was going to be so intense. The raw emotion felt too overwhelming.

We stayed a bit longer. I turned in my vest, thanked the other volunteers, got to my car, and started to cry as I tried to process my first escort experience.

I found myself at the escort training two weeks later. I think I oscillated between “I really want to do this” and “I don’t think I can handle this!” about ten times during the two-hour training.

The same experienced escort from my first experience encouraged me to try again, this time during a weekday morning when the sidewalk tends to be quieter.

My second time escorting was on a weekday morning. Now armed with non-sidewalk training and a deeper insight into the Points of Unity, I felt more confident. Being assigned the sole job of observing for that morning was incredibly helpful. I breathed more, forced myself to mentally slow down the events, allowed myself to process everything at a calmer rate.

In processing my somewhat unique start to escorting, I have realized that I (perhaps like many new escorts) was misdirecting energy during my first experience. In the chaos, I allowed myself to think that clients needed protection. This is not an unusual thought, I suppose, when you actually get a glimpse of some of the more vocal and hysterical protesters. The whole experience felt dramatic, frenzied, and full of helplessness. After the training, I saw clearly that the experience was about empowerment. We provide the space for clients to be empowered by always asking consent, by remaining calm and quiet, and by not engaging with the protesters.

Psychologists often speak of learning as a process of using what you know to navigate the world. People use mental scripts to guide expectations of what to do in new situations. For example, a mental script for ordering food in a restaurant can help you learn how to order food at a drive through.

There is no script for escorting on the sidewalk. Nothing in my life had prepared me for the chaos from the protesters. All of the implicit, unspoken rules we use for engaging with people in our daily life (turn-taking, respecting personal space, not yelling at strangers) seem to be forgotten by the protesters. For new escorts, facing this bizarre situation with no mental framework for guidance is a disorienting and chaotic experience! The escort training (both formal and on-the-sidewalk training) has been helpful in providing guidance. Even so, as a new escort, it feels very unsettling to not have a mental script to help me process events on the sidewalk. There is nothing in my daily life that helps me relate to this bizarre occurrence of people showing up daily to harass other people who are just trying to make the walk from their car to their doctor’s office.

To the more seasoned escorts: I am trying, I am listening, and I will do my best. I will probably still beat myself up for mistakes, no matter how many times you tell me not to. I still feel anxious at times, even though you teach me the “thousand-yard stare” that gives me a serene face to present toward the protesters. I am still trying to manage my emotions in a way that will allow me to provide a calm presence for the clients and their companions. And despite all of this, I will still show up to escort, even though there is still a part of me that doubts that my money wouldn’t be more helpful than my physical presence. As one experienced escort put into words, “I don’t think I can do this, but I know I have to do this”. How very true.

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

*********************************************************

We had no problems getting clients and companions to the clinic entrance. There were fewer antis out, but most stayed grouped under the overhang. While our walks were wet, we had only a couple of antis walking the sidewalk with their umbrellas. The clients were able to walk without a lot of interference.

However, when we reached the entrance we had to navigate around antis with their umbrellas up blocking the entrance. When I said, “You are blocking the entrance,” to one anti who works for AWC the reply was, “No, I am not.”

Three antis were standing with their umbrellas up across the entrance. The companion had to push a little to get through and bumped the anti’s umbrella. I pointed out she blocked the last client only to be told, “He got in.”

Yes they did, but it is still blocking when huge umbrellas are added to the people.

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

*********************************************************

We have a Comment Policy in order to have a safe space for readers to interact with our authors. This safe space is important because feelings are strong and tempers flare easily when we write about abortion and other reproductive justice issues.

We’re not alone in this problem. Most blogs about reproductive justice, political and human rights eventually post something about the comments their articles generate. It may be like Shakesville’s “Short Rules: Be nice. Be thoughtful.”  The policies may be long and detailed so there isn’t any doubt as to why a comment is rejected.

In any case, no matter how general or detailed the rules, there are usually people who feel entitled to make comments against the stated policies. Called Internet Trolls, they “…post inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.”

They may be offensive, abusive and threatening. They all come packaged with a sense of entitlement. Their comment is an exception to the rules because they want a voice ~ their voice ~ to be heard, no matter how unwelcome it is.

Trolls can be exhausting.  One of our favorite blogs about violence toward women and rape no longer exists.  The stress of reading these comments was overwhelming for the author. So even if those troll comments aren’t posted, there is a human being who reads them; someone who internalizes the whole venomous scope.

We attract our own trolls. Depending on the article, there can be a lot of them or just a few. Every week ~ just about every single week ~ we get five or six comments from a particular anti.  Every comment from this person gets deleted.

A Huffington Post article April 1st by Colleen Glenney Boggs asks:

• Must trolls — those posters of negativity and vitriol — be part of the Internet public sphere? Must we accept them, or can we do something to improve Internet culture? How do we banish the trolls without closing off the dialogue that is so vital to our democracy?

No, we don’t have to accept posters of negativity and vitriol. We screen comments and bar the trolls. We do not have to allow them to derail our conversations. We can foster courteous, safe conversations with our readers.

On our blog, comments that go straight to the Trash may be:

• Anti-abortion, derogatory to groups you don’t derive your personal identity from, personally attacking an author and/or other commenter, or ~

• If it includes arguments invoking the words Hitler, Holocaust, slavery, eugenics, genocide, Margaret Sanger, abortion mill, murder, deathscort, God, Jesus, sin or Bible.  We are not going to get into the same argument we have had a thousand times before.

Several of us discuss any comments that may be in question. We will make a group decision to publish or delete a comment. We may go back to the commenter and ask them to clarify their comment if we are in doubt.

To sum up:  this is a clinic escort blog.  It is a collective effort with many authors contributing. Sometimes we get things wrong and we encourage conversation and input from our readers to set us straight on facts. We encourage personal stories and interaction between authors and readers.

Trolls are not welcome here.  We are not tired of deleting the comments of our persistent troll, and we’ll continue to delete them ~ well, forever, I guess. It is time well spent.

This blog is written for the readers. This blog is written to raise awareness of the continuing struggle to make reproductive choices accessible to everyone.

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

*********************************************************

We had several very empowered clients and companions. It is always a privilege to witness them navigate around the antis with ease. Several companions thanked the escorts for what we do, including physical pats on the back from a couple of them. Clients were upbeat and seemingly unphased by the words the antis said, sailing peacefully into the clinic.

As the morning’s activity was winding down, the antis were getting more aggressive with their words and walking two antis to every client. Still, the clients ignored them.

One of the last clients coming in had two companions. I was able to explain the difference between protesters and escorts before we were joined by two antis. In my explanation, I added the phrase, “You can ignore the protesters. This is one place you can be rude.” The client pointed to one companion and said, “That’s why we brought him.” The two antis zeroed in on the two companions because the one brought to be rude was talking to them. The client and I were able to walk in front without interference, sharing our amusement over the comments being exchanged.

Before the morning was over, the pedestrians on the sidewalk joined in. One runner stopped in front of the two prayers across from the clinic entrance. He asked them, “What is going on here?” One answered, “We are praying for the babies. This is an abortion clinic.” The runner answered, “You have been deceived by Satan. This is not Christianity. You are wrong to be here.” Then they continued running down the sidewalk. The “We will pray for you,” shouted after them was met with a curse tossed over a shoulder.

If I had one wish, I would wish for no antis in front of the clinic. If this wish cannot be granted, this day was the next best thing.

*********************************************************

REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!

The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.

Use this form to make your pledge:

*********************************************************