Category Archives: pro-choice

Sidewalk Snippet ~ {3/18/13}

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There are times a client and/or companion is so empowered they instantly gain my admiration.

The companion got out of the car first. E was hovering right behind me ready to start shaming. I was able to explain the vests and offer to escort them before he began his spiel. E handed the companion some literature. When I explained he was a protester, they handed it right back to him.

The companion and I escorted the client down the sidewalk. We were in a line: E, companion, client and me. E started with “Women regret their abortions. Don’t lead her into this place.” The companion waved dismissively at him and said, “Oh, I know all about abortion. I have had 10 already.” There was a pause then E leaned over towards the client and said “You don’t have to go into that place.” The client turned to me and said, “I am not listening to him.” I replied that was best.

We walked to the clinic entrance with E talking the whole time, but nobody was paying any attention to him.

It was great to witness these two completely ignoring the words meant to hurt and shame them. They are just words. The antis don’t know anything about the clients and why they made the decision for abortion. I felt privileged to witness this calm confidence.

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REMINDER:  Kentucky Support Network’s 2013 Bowl-a-Thon is April 19

There are many ways to get involved:

    • Captain a team, set a fundraising goal, and recruit 4-6 other bowlers to work together to meet that goal
    • Join or donate to an existing team
    • Show your support by attending the event
    • Share this information with your friends, family, coworkers, and networks via email, Facebook, Twitter, other social media, or good old-fashioned word of mouth!

However you choose to get involved, know that your support is invaluable in helping people from all walks of life realize their reproductive rights!

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REMINDER: Our annual  fund drive Pledge-A-Picketer is NOW!
The Saturday before Mother’s Day is the biggest protester day of the year.  It also is the date  where we count protesters for donations to support the pro-choice effort and the escorts.  You can pledge a certain amount for each protester showing up that morning. If you prefer, you can also make a straight monetary donation.
Use this form to make your pledge:

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Sidewalk Snippet ~ {2/18/13}

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The morning was cold, snowy and the roads and sidewalk were slick. There were fewer antis than we normally see, but there were so many empowered clients I don’t think it would have made any difference.

Fully half of the clients arriving declined our offers to walk with them. With smiles and kind words, they told us “We’ve got this” and “They won’t bother me.” We had several clients thank us for being there, but they just walked past the antis like they were not there; ignoring all the things they were saying.

I thought about Kescort this morning. He recently requested we post stories about the number of clients who are confident and move past the antis with ease. This morning was custom made for his request.

My First Day Escorting ~ by Anonymous

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The morning was cold and dark and I was nervous. My partner had been escorting for a few weeks by this time so I had heard some stories, learned some names and I hoped that would help calm me. Then we parked and I saw the number of protesters lining the sidewalk and I knew calm was too much to hope for.

I don’t do well in confrontation, my heart races and I feel shaky and I shut down a bit, so I was very relieved to learn that all I had to do was stand and open the door for clients. I thought I could handle that easily; then a street preacher mounted his box. He was speaking at the top of his voice about god and judgment and the blood of the innocent.

It seemed to agitate people. The protesters started moving around and whispering to each other, the prayer line started chanting ‘Hail Mary’s’ and my heart started racing. In a way the cold helped me because I could hide behind my hat and gloves and scarf, but goodness he was loud and I honestly wasn’t sure this was something I could do.

Then I recognized the preacher’s voice and I stole a glance at him to confirm (I was working really hard not to look at anybody before that). This was the same man who preached and protested at the Zombie Walk for at least the past two years because, I guess next to homosexuals and abortion god hates zombies most. . . or maybe he loves them and hates our mockery of them, I really don’t know the logic. I found his presence at the Zombie Walk ridiculous and that gave me the space to think of his presence on the sidewalk in the same light. I laughed a bit, and with that the anxiety seemed to wash away.

I reluctantly admit I had fun that day. Once I opened my eyes to the absurdity of the preacher I saw it everywhere. The preaching, the dubious “facts”, the pleas that sounded a lot like insults. How could anyone say these things and expect to be taken seriously? Expect to change someone’s mind? Expect to be called on for counsel? It was like the protesters were performing a farce just for me.

When we left to meet everyone for breakfast I was practically giddy, until I heard how horrible the day was for others. Since I was only manning the door I was sheltered from the physical and emotional bullying tactics faced when you walk with a client. I had dealt with this for one single morning, while these wonderful people had been slogging through the muck for months and years. I left breakfast feeling selfish and shallow. How could I find humor when people were hurting?

It took me some days and a few more mornings escorting to realize my reaction was alright. I know my stressful, horrible days are coming. I think that’s inevitable when you do something like this. I’m only human.

Each escort has to find their way to cope on the sidewalk and I’m very lucky that I found out early that my love of the absurd and my sarcastic inner voice are going to help me. They are what I will fall back on when the morning seems especially dark.

Where Do I Park?

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The client and companion pulled into the drop-off zone to ask where to park. It was about 30 minutes before the doors of the clinic normally open. We discussed options and I gave them directions to the $3 parking lot. Before I moved away from the car, I warned them about the antis not wearing orange vests and that they may approach them to talk and give out literature.

They were starting to pull over to the lot when D approached their car. She was talking to them when I re-approached the car to let them know she was a protester. D turned to me and said, “You are so rude. You had your turn to talk to them. Now it is my turn. You say you are pro-choice. They need to know their choices.” Since I had said what I needed to let them know, I  backed off and let her talk.

Escorts watched as the car drove down the street and turned the corner, bypassing the public parking lot. I alerted another escort to the fact they might have been diverted to the AWC lot by D. This is a common tactic we see. They offer free parking in their lot, but it comes with a lot of talking about the “right choice.” It is usually easier to pay for parking than hear the words meant to shame and coerce clients into their clinic.

The other escort was able to stop them just before they parked in the AWC lot. The companion told the escort the woman (meaning D) said they would have to pay for an ultrasound at EMW, but they could get it from AWC free. When it was explained to them that they didn’t have to pay extra for the ultrasound at EMW*, the free ultrasound performed at AWC would not be accepted by EMW* and they would just have to have another one, and AWC was an anti-abortion clinic, they parked their car in the public lot as originally planned.

D arrived at the AWC parking lot just as the client and companion were pulling away. She approached the other escort and asked, “If you die tonight, do you know where you are going?”

The companion was really upset when I went over to help them with the payment box. We discussed what had happened to them. They were mad they were lied to by D. I explained we cannot control what the antis say, but agreed it was frustrating.

As I was leaving, I warned them about the antis approaching their car even in the parking lot and suggested they did not need to roll their windows down if they didn’t want to. I told them we would come get them when the clinic doors opened.  Sure enough, shortly after I left the lot four antis surrounded their car trying to get them to roll their windows down. The antis began sticking literature on their windshield without permission.

The companion called the police to report their harassment. Two squad cars arrived within minutes and spoke to the antis. The four antis moved to the corner of the lot and stayed away from the car after their conversation with the officers. We did not hear what was said, but we were able to escort the client and companion without further incident.

When I went into the lobby of the clinic a short while after they entered, the companion asked me why the protesters were allowed to go right up to clients. “There should be a distance they have to stay away. This isn’t right.” I agreed and explained there was no bubble/buffer zone in Louisville. The companion expressed their anger over the whole situation.

I have to agree, lying, shaming, judging and harassment from the antis just makes the day more difficult than it has to be for everyone.

*The ultrasound at EMW is included in the procedure fees. There is no association between EMW and AWC. A procedure done at AWC will not generate a discounted fee from EMW. It will just cause the client to have duplicate procedures.

Fewer Antis

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The last weekend in January was a pretty calm one for abortion clinics around the country. The annual anti-abortion March for Life protest, normally held on the anniversary of the Roe v Wade decision, was moved to Friday the 25th. Most of our regular antis were in Washington or on the way home instead of harassing clients on the sidewalk in Louisville. We heard from other clinics around the country who saw the same thinning in the numbers of antis. One clinic even reported no one showed up to protest. Not one anti; the embodiment of wishes coming true.

The antis who were here in Louisville did their best to make up for their lack of numbers with volume. Standing by the door of the clinic, we had a small choral group singing hymns where the soapbox preachers usually set up. Who doesn’t want to hear an off-tune rendition of a hymn when they enter a medical facility?

We had three antis taking turns yelling at the door and window of the clinic.  “You cannot drown out the voice of God. He is calling you to stop and turn from this sin.” “We know this isn’t an easy thing. That’s why we are here. We want to care for you. We want to help you. We want to invite you into our homes.” “Everyone here today has sinned. We pray you see the light. If not, you are going to hell.” “What you are doing is murder. If you went down to the maternity ward of the local hospital and someone was going room to room cutting up babies, you would think that was awful. Well, that is what is going on here today.” What was going on at the clinic was shaming and harassment.

This is what it was like.*

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Interesting things happen when there are fewer antis on the sidewalk. There is a competitive air among them to be the loudest and most sincere sounding. Any client arriving at the doors is instantly surrounded by a group. Sometimes this really works against them.

There was a faked intervention staged on the sidewalk. They took great pains to disguise their purpose, but the cameraman walking backwards and filming raised suspicions at least in the escorts. A woman walking to the clinic had a camera documenting her steps and interactions with the people on the sidewalk. With tears in her eyes, she allowed herself to be led away from the clinic door by a couple of antis. In fact, she had a whole group of antis surrounding her and pulling on her arms. There were no escorts around her. She had waved us away and we went. That competitive spirit of the antis to intervene undid a lot of the work put into faking the walk. We are not sure what they were trying to accomplish, but antis interfered with them so many times they were a slow moving crowd of people by the time the woman reached the entrance to the clinic. Escorts did not interfere and were just observing. It pretty well nullified the “evil escort” trope. Of course, with judicious editing it could be made to appear otherwise.

When she and the people with her were leaving, they told another escort they were making “just a film.” The escort took photos of them and gave the information to the clinic. Of course, when the escort took pictures they took pictures of the escort taking pictures of them. Photo standoffs are common on the sidewalk. It was definitely a photo opportunity day with many cameras and cell phones documenting both sides.

We didn’t have as many protesters out and few of the regular ones we write about all of the time, but it was far from just another Saturday. I found myself envious of the clinic with no antis present.

* Thank you to escort J for capturing this video.

Blog for Choice Day 2013

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Every year this blog participates in NARAL’s Blog for Choice Day on the anniversary of the Roe vs Wade decision. This year’s theme is “Tell your story about why you’re pro-choice.” This year is memorable because it is the 40th Anniversary of the decision. We are honored to participate again this year.

Since escorts in Louisville are a diverse group of individuals, we wanted to give voice to different viewpoints from everyone wanting to contribute. It has become an interesting collection of different stories.

bfcd-2013

FK

I am French but have lived in the Midwest for 6 years.  I had previously spent time in New York, and the culture shock of being in the U.S. was not really felt there.  Only when I came to Indiana and saw anti-abortion protesters marching on the town square, carrying gory, photo-shopped pictures of aborted fetuses, did I begin to realize the kind of environment in which I was living.

In 2007, while in my 1st year as a graduate student at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, I became pregnant and made the choice to have an abortion.  Soon after making that personal decision, I was faced with Indiana laws.  It first hit me when I placed a call to Planned Parenthood and, rather than being scheduled and told how to prepare, I was asked if I wanted to speak to a minister and arrange for an ultrasound, and told that by law I had to wait a minimum of five weeks — long enough for the heart to start beating.  None of it made sense to me; I had already made my decision, after much soul-searching and personal anguish.  I didn’t need help with the decision, nor did I need time to think it over.  I needed medical assistance.

I had also seen the protesters in Bloomington.  Their aggressiveness and ravings were a very real deterrent, particularly since I was feeling so vulnerable.  I had made a very personal decision, and I felt they were trying to make me feel accountable to them for it, to run a gauntlet of shame and guilt just to get to the clinic door — unless you’re lucky enough to have wonderful escorts standing by to help, like the ones here in Louisville.  So, with my very limited finances and the help of friends, I arranged a trip to Chicago, where I was still shown an ultrasound photo but was at least helped without having to clear too many other obstacles.

It was still an ordeal: I opted for mifepristone, or “the pill,” but my uterus never emptied after the misoprostol.  By that time I had returned to Bloomington and began to experience increasing pain.  I needed to visit Chicago again, a task made nearly impossible by blatantly pro-life psychiatric staff in Bloomington who, fearing I was suicidal because of their own preconceptions, locked me in isolation, gave me yet another unnecessary ultrasound, and refused medical treatment, though they were fully aware of my condition and knew that I needed immediate treatment for infection.  Only after friends in Bloomington noticed my absence and threatened legal action was I able to escape the hospital and return to Chicago for a D&C, all the while having missed classes which resulted in my being put on academic probation.

Thinking about this experience still makes me shudder, no less so since in France abortions are now free, and even in 2007, they were cheap and readily available, with no protesters or legal obstacles to cause guilt, stigma, and difficulty.  I don’t mean to glorify my country, but I did take my freedom of choice for granted in France, and only after my ordeal in the U.S. did I realize how dearly I cherish it.  I think also about the gender biases inherent in the whole abortion discussion, and in society in general, about how we glorify the “self-made man,” never leaving room for the self-made woman.  How can there be such a thing when she is required to carry a child, but there is no requirement to support her when she does?

In the end, I feel I was lucky.  Many other women succumb to stigma and pressure from those around them, in spite of their own feelings and misgivings.  I had enough support, and I felt empowered enough, that I was able to take control of my life.  I still plan to have a family, albeit under different, better circumstances, after I have achieved the means and the stability to raise children with all the opportunities they need and deserve.  My life, and my children’s lives, would be much different, had I not had the freedom granted by Roe v. Wade.

Ampelio

Because I believe in democracy.

Kescort

“Pro-Choice”, to me, sounds like “Pro-Gravity.” Self-determination, especially in an arena as personal as parenting, simply IS. Laws can pass, obstacles erected, dogmas cast, social memes evoked. When, if, and how often someone becomes a mother has always, is now, and will forever be, that person’s choice.

I escort at the local clinic, contribute to our local A-Fund, hound my representatives to stop anti-access legislation because safe, unobstructed reproductive health care is healthy and humane. And the State and churches ought to be concentrating their efforts on bigger issues in which their influence may actually bring about some good.

And I am optimistic that this day is coming. Because unsupported beliefs in such things as “one-right-way” fall just as sure as unsupported objects fall to the centre of the Earth.

MMS

There was a confluence of factors that caused me to embrace Choice. Strong women in my family. Vatican II which threw open the doors and windows of the Roman Catholic Church to winds that buffeted the rigid patriarchal dogma and tradition. The righteous, confrontational actions of the Civil Rights heroines and heroes. The writings and speeches of the feminists in the late 60s and early 70s. My partner who supported the evolution of my belief in the absolute right of every woman to determine what happens to her body.

Servalbear

When I first thought about the subject for this year’s Blog for Choice, I started trying to remember when I knew terminating a pregnancy could be an option. It is a subject I have difficulty separating from when I first felt passionately about women’s rights. From my first awareness of the double standard applied to men and women in assessing blame for unwanted pregnancies (woman=slut/bad; man=boys will be boys/couldn’t help themselves) to today, I have constantly reacted with, “It’s not fair.” What is fair is access to reproductive choices for everyone. Only the one with the potential to be pregnant or carrying a pregnancy knows the right decision for them. We need to fight for access to whatever that decision might be..

PG

How could I not be pro-choice?  In 1945 my younger sister was born, and my mother nearly died.  Doctors told her she was not in good enough physical condition to ever have had babies.  But they refused to sterilize her.  What was she to do, a married woman with two young children, terrified she would get pregnant again?   Doctors had no solution for her.  So when abortion was legalized in 1973, I was so glad, and thought it was a whole new world for women and our reproductive issues.  It was good to know my two daughters would have control over their own bodies.   Little did I know that 40 years later we would be fighting to keep these rights for our health and our lives.  We somehow need to make the general public aware of the dangers of women losing their reproductive rights.

FML

I’ve written before here about my reasons – girls I knew in high school, women when I was a young mother.  Yesterday, at an abortion speak-out I heard twenty amazing stories of why women chose to abort a pregnancy.  Each of the stories by itself was a compelling argument for access to abortion.  Combined, it was almost overwhelming.  If I multiply that by all the women who have their own stories, their own compelling reasons,  then it’s clear.  Abortion IS a woman’s decision.  We must keep it legal and safe.

Sidewalk Snippet ~ {1/19/13}

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The weekday morning was pretty intense. First, it was pouring down rain; steady and cold rain. Second, there were about 3 antis to every escort.

The antis were carrying umbrellas, huddling up by the clinic entrance and stretched across the sidewalk. Most of the morning was spent walking around their obstructions while trying to avoid being poked by an umbrella. That’s trickier than it sounds. All of the clients were able to enter the clinic with no incidents, even with antis blocking the sidewalk.

On mornings when there are more antis than escorts, the antis always decide to try to engage the escorts. .As one group of antis were leaving, one held up a copy of the DVD “180” in front of me. He asked, “Would you like a free DVD?” I replied, “Are you kidding?” “No, it’s free.” “No, thank you.” “You should watch it. It is free.” “This conversation is ended. I prefer not to talk with you.” “Oh, you don’t want to engage.” “No.” With that I turned my back.

There is one thing I did wrong. The first response should have been no response or, “I do not talk to antis.” I was just so surprised that he would offer that vile* video to an escort that for the past hour he had been blocking and telling clients I was just misleading them. My response just popped out.

The second thing that struck me was the repetition of “free.” Was I supposed to say, “Oh, it’s free. Okay. I love free things. I’ll watch anything if it’s free.” The disconnect on the part of some antis is a constant amazement to me.

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*I have watched the film and this is my personal review.

Sidewalk Snippet ~ {1/7/13}

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The client and companion pulled to the curb. They were immediately approached by two of the many antis out that day. I was able to explain the orange vests and antis. We talked about their parking options and they decided to pull across to the $3 lot. I walked over to assist them with parking and paying.

We started walking towards the clinic. One of them looked at the antis grouped around the clinic door and said, “There are so many people out there.” I agreed and said we would just walk past the protesters. The companion remarked, “Well, since you are security we will have protection.” I immediately said, “I am not security. We only volunteer to help create a space for you when you walk to the clinic. The protesters will just talk to you and try to hand you pamphlets. You don’t have to talk to them or take anything.”

They gave me a surprised look and said, “I hope that works.”

It did.

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REMINDER: Share your story.

January 22, 2013 is the 40th Anniversary of Roe v Wade.  Forty years of legal, safe abortions.  This invitation comes from our allies at Kentucky Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice:

“KRCRC (is making plans for a January 20 event in Louisville, “The Roe Monologues,” to mark those 40 years (four decades, two generations!) since the Roe v Wade ruling, and we need your help.

We’re looking for your story. But also for your mother’s, your daughter’s, your sister’s, aunt’s, girlfriend’s, roommate’s, friend’s story. Fairly brief; 2 to 5 minutes, and starting with the year. (e.g. “It was 1983, and I was trying to finish up my nursing degree, when I found out I was pregnant.” “In 2008, my wife and I had been trying for several years to have a baby. Now she had finally gotten pregnant, but when we got the results of the amnio, …” “1957. I was living in Missouri, and abortion was illegal. When my roommate learned she was pregnant, …” etc)

On Jan. 20 at our event, we will love it if you will present it yourself. But if it’s bad timing, bad location, or you’d just rather not get up to present it yourself, we will be happy to have someone read it for you. Also, you can use your own name or a made-up name, your choice.

We need these stories! – and people need to hear them. Will you help us? Will you spread the word that we’re looking for these stories?

Please email info@krcrc.org if you think you’d like to participate, either in person or by providing a story for someone else to read.”

By stepping out and talking about our experience we reduce the stigma and shame that surrounds abortion.  By sharing our stories, we support each other and continue building a world where reproductive justice is a reality.

Sidewalk Snippet ~ {1/2/2013}

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There were about 10 protesters grouped around the clinic entrance. The six escorts were spread at the door and down the sidewalk. Another escort and I were on the corner of 2nd and Market.

A client arrived alone on the corner and talked to the other escort. The doors of the clinic were not open yet and the client made the decision to hang out at the corner with us instead of waiting by the door.

The three of us stood watching the antis as they approached another client who decided to wait by the door. The antis all began grouping on the property line and talking at the client by the door. No one was paying any attention to us at all.

When the doors opened, the client and I casually strolled towards the clinic. It wasn’t until after the client crossed the property line that one protester noticed us. The client was calm and proved sometimes it is really possible to be hidden in plain sight.

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REMINDER: Share your story.

January 22, 2013 is the 40th Anniversary of Roe v Wade.  Forty years of legal, safe abortions.  This invitation comes from our allies at Kentucky Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice:

“KRCRC (is making plans for a January 20 event in Louisville, “The Roe Monologues,” to mark those 40 years (four decades, two generations!) since the Roe v Wade ruling, and we need your help.

We’re looking for your story. But also for your mother’s, your daughter’s, your sister’s, aunt’s, girlfriend’s, roommate’s, friend’s story. Fairly brief; 2 to 5 minutes, and starting with the year. (e.g. “It was 1983, and I was trying to finish up my nursing degree, when I found out I was pregnant.” “In 2008, my wife and I had been trying for several years to have a baby. Now she had finally gotten pregnant, but when we got the results of the amnio, …” “1957. I was living in Missouri, and abortion was illegal. When my roommate learned she was pregnant, …” etc)

On Jan. 20 at our event, we will love it if you will present it yourself. But if it’s bad timing, bad location, or you’d just rather not get up to present it yourself, we will be happy to have someone read it for you. Also, you can use your own name or a made-up name, your choice.

We need these stories! – and people need to hear them. Will you help us? Will you spread the word that we’re looking for these stories?

Please email info@krcrc.org if you think you’d like to participate, either in person or by providing a story for someone else to read.”

By stepping out and talking about our experience we reduce the stigma and shame that surrounds abortion.  By sharing our stories, we support each other and continue building a world where reproductive justice is a reality.

Listening

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When we train escorts, we stress the importance of listening to what the clients say. Some clients want to talk about their decision and they will tell us personal information. We focus on what they are saying to us. This is important to the client and is part of making space for them.

Many clients cannot share their stories with others in their life. The stigmatization of abortion makes it harder to have an abortion conversation within some families or friends, but our orange vests let them know they already have someone pro-access to discuss their abortion. Many times it is easier to talk to a stranger about why you decided to have an abortion.

Listening and respecting their stories is allowing the clients to express their power to make the decisions that are right for them. We should respond with words that respect the personal nature of what we are hearing. We wait for the client to direct the conversation. They may want to continue sharing other parts of their story, or they may want to move on to lighter subjects.

This point really hit home with me the other day. The companion pulled to the drop off zone and the client went into the clinic. We gave the companion directions for parking and I walked over to the $3 parking lot to help them navigate the parking and payment. As we were slipping money into the payment box, the companion was telling me the health reasons that made it necessary for the client to have an abortion. They were stressing they were there for the client and supported them in their decision.

We crossed the street and approached the clinic. E started walking beside the companion. At first he was saying, “You don’t have to do this today. You don’t have to kill your baby.” The companion let him know they weren’t the patient, but explained the same health reasons making an abortion needed for the client. E immediately said, “You need to talk to her and convince her not to kill her baby.” She then explained to E that the client was making the right decision and she knew it because she had to make the same decision herself. She explained she lost a pregnancy at 5 months because of a health issue. “I laid in the hospital for three days with a dead baby inside me. I don’t want her to go through that.” Without pausing E responded with, “At least that was better than killing a baby.” The companion and I just looked at each other and continued on our walk. I was speechless for a moment considering this touch of cruelty in his words, but we started talking about other things within a few feet.

Antis do not have the same respect for really listening to what the client is saying. They are on a one-message agenda and all facts that refute their world view are rejected. The companion’s experience did not fit into E’s script, so it was discarded as not being relevant.

My hope is that I will always listen and really hear the messages from clients and companions.